Airports. They’ve got no better. Back in the day, when I was boarding a plane twice a week, I had a good moan. I didn’t like the “sheep dip” experience, the overly made up and perfumed ladies that saw hobbity little me, thinking I was an easy touch for a new credit card. That all ended when I grew the mane, funnily enough. Perception is a funny thing.
I also complained about the way, that like in any captive audience situation, like a service station, or a cinema, or once again, a sheep dip, you’re getting fleeced.
That’s old hat. Taken in. Yesterday’s news.
There are new annoyances.
Tonight, at Belfast International Airport, I witnessed an easyJet jobsworth make a lady put her neglible handbag in her other bag. The wisened scouser behind her said “what’s the difference?”. What, indeed? You can’t have two bags. Them’s the rules.
Charitably, you might think that the easyJet official was doing the traveller a favour. There could be some bastard steward bristling for conflict at the top of the stairs, ready to eject any surplus sack suspect at top speed down the metal steps, indifferent to the pain or death it may cause. Spoiler warning ; the crew were all lovely scouse ladies that treated us well.
I reckon some of them just lurve the power. The power to get a woman to put a bag in another bag. And I don’t want to judge a book by its cover but the female staff member in question looked like Barry Manilow’s Belfast lovechild that looked like she had started her day by diving into a bag of Max Factor. I am 76% sure that spite was a driver, and that number can’t be argued with.
A Facebook appeal revealed that this is not an uncommon thing. A friend of mine had to put her laptop bag in her roller bag for security, but the airline themselves did not give a crap.
And yet, if you buy a load of shit airside and have it in a clear plastic bag, that’s okay, even if it’s a half hundred weight of brown M&M’s and three bottles of Jamesons.
Raaaargh!
This is just one specific annoyance. I’m sure there are more. Have at it, fellow travellers.
- Airports are great.
- Airports are the means by which the state says “I’m the man, Johnny Foreigner. Step out of line and you’re toast!”
- Southampton Airport is merely the first step in conquering Eastleigh
- Airports are pants.
- Airports that charge you for wifi deserve a new level of hell
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