Anyone up for a new religion?

Does it involve fanny glitter?

Were YOU there?

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Well it sort depends - I and you were sort of There as all the matter in the universe has always existed Just like all the energy so we have in effect been around in one form or another since the beginning of the universe. Unfortunately, as matter had not yet been used to evolve primates when the Dinosaurs were around I can’t claim to have seen them.

However, I do know that those who belive in creationism are stupid twats - those that teach it to innocent kids cunts

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If Corbs doesn’t get in I’m starting my own political party.

It’ll be called The FTC Party, or to give it its full name, The Fuck The Cunts Party.

The tagline will be “The world is full of cunts. Fuck the cunts”. I imagine it would have broad appeal.

The principle could just as easily be transferred into a religious context :lou_sunglasses:

Well as I lay down to sleep each night I use the mantra taught to me by my step dad. Fuck 'em, they’re all cunts out there.

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Ah, so that accounts for your sunny and cheerful disposition @cellone ?

:lou_wink_2:

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Isnt that what got Harvey Weinstein into trouble

We had a few drinks with the people from our road the other week, I was vastly outweighed by a frontline pastor, a few practising catholics and some CofE with a sprinkling of Methodists, as the the drinks flowed so did my questions of why wasn’t a T’Rex on the ark and original sin and guilt, needless to say I wasn’t popular but strangely I got on with the pastor very well and he was a very nice bloke, for me religion is hope for the lost and weak, religion knows this and has profitted from poverty, disease and ignorance for over 2000 years.

Education will ask more questions and also alleviate hopefully poverty which feeds such superstitions, our we so scared of dying? Or do we just want to know?

Mans vanity.

Nah. That’s the meds.:heart_eyes:

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In the early '70s I had 3 friends (no really…I did) and they followed this guy. He was the leader of “The Divine Light Mission”. My friends were normal kind of chaps but they got caught up with the trendy Indian Religion stuff of that time.

Prem Rawat or “Guru Maharaj Ji” was a 14 year old boy who was selected as “The Chosen One” from millions of other little Indian boys. Rather surprisingly his dad was the previous “Chosen One”…what are the chances…incredible coincidence.

In exchange for “The Knowledge” all my friends had to do was to give this young teen 50% of their monthly salary…bit of a bargain, we all agreed. In fact so taken with young fellamelad “Guru Maharaj Ji” they started their own Southampton branch of “The Divine Light Mission” and converted their rented rooms into an Ashram.

It all went swimmingly well for me as in an effort to raise money to buy flights all 3 sold their extensive vinyl LP collection to me for a knockdown price. Seemingly “The Knowledge” consisted in learning how to get ripped-off by just about everyone who wanted what you had.

I never heard of my 3 friends after they disappeared to India…today Prem Rawat is a fat 59 year old who lives a life of luxury.

Attaboy!

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Sounds like he knew the path all along, bless him!

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Bit like that cult SWF where you send £5 a year to read/write a fuck load of bollocks. At least the book of the.bollocks enlightenment here is free.

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Ha…after they started their own Ashram in Southampton they tried to get us to come along to see what it was all about. Four of us said we would, just for a laugh and arrived at the ground-floor flat. Each was daring the other to go inside but we decided to creep around the building and take a peek through the window. One of our mates was leading the prayers, while other desciples sat trancelike, cross-legged and shoeless facing him.

We decided then and there to take our own “Path of Enlightenment”…we nipped over the road to The Cowherds for a pint or two. My mate said, “didn’t fancy it, I have a hole in my sock”

Spiritually and financially I think we made the right decision.

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The moral of this story being you are more likely to find your true path if you have a holy sock.

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One of my favourite quotes from The Life of Brian:

Brian Called Brian: You don’t need to follow me! You don’t need to follow anybody! You got to think for yourselves! You’re all individuals! You’re all different!

Man: I’m not…

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I sense a franchise opportunity here…go for it…“Sog’s Holy Socks”

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Matthew Le God FIlms 2007

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Or put much more brutally, you’re paying £5 to chat with hypo.

My favourite line in that movie is four words long, and hilarious in context.

Found this spoon, sir!

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:lou_surprised: