Auditions for the new Ant and Dec.

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pap posted this 19 March 2018

ITV needs a new Ant and Dec.  They are responsible for the majority of ITV programming.    They need a new Ant and Dec quick.

If, in their desperation, they decide to birth a new Ant and Dec from the fertile womb of Sotonians, which pair of forum funsters would you like to see sending celebrities off to eat kangaroo's bollocks?

https://news.sky.com/story/ant-mcpartlin-to-step-down-from-tv-work-following-drink-drive-arrest-11297190

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Goatboy posted this 19 March 2018

Barry and soggy.

pap posted this 19 March 2018

Originally posted by Goatboy

Barry and soggy.

 Bit 70s, mate.

 

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KRG posted this 19 March 2018

Originally posted by pap

Originally posted by Goatboy

Barry and soggy.

 Bit 70s, mate.

 

 But think of the *trees saved by the endless number of pages of back & forth sniping we wouldn't have to sit through.

 

*imaginary internet page trees are totally a thing, ok?

pap posted this 19 March 2018

It's actually much worse than that, @KRG.   We're on the Internet.  Our format is screen, and our national grid is mostly fossil fuels, gas or nuclear.

We are burning the condensed remains of dinosaurs, setting alight to gas or smashing nature apart so that we can have our internet beef.

Paper might be an improvement.   One night on the piss would snow Barry in with A4.

saintbletch posted this 19 March 2018

It's @Flydand @SO5obviously.

Lifelong friends? Check.

Love banter? Check.

Annoying as fuck? Check.

pap posted this 19 March 2018

@Fowllyd and @SO5 4BW would seem an obvious pairing.

They'd get Colin Firth in the jungle quicksmart.

pap posted this 19 March 2018 - Last edited 19 March 2018

Get out of my head, @saintbletch.

I think @Coxford_lou and @Bucks would be ideal breakfast television or mid-morning presenters, providing a level of sexual tension not seen since the Owen/Diamond days, or if one may be so brave or presumptive, Vaughn and Van Outen,

Fowllyd posted this 19 March 2018

Originally posted by saintbletch

It's @Flydand @SO5obviously.

Lifelong friends? Check.

Love banter? Check.

Annoying as fuck? Check.

Fucking right, you cunt. It would only work on HBO though - ITV don't like their presenters to say 'fuck' or 'cunt'.

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Fowllyd posted this 19 March 2018

Bletch and Rallyboy. The Blouse Brothers.

Bucks posted this 19 March 2018

Originally posted by pap

Get out of my head, @saintbletch.

I think @Coxford_lou and @Bucks would be ideal breakfast television or mid-morning presenters, providing a level of sexual tension not seen since the Owen/Diamond days, or if one may be so brave or presumptive, Vaughn and Van Outen,

I am unemployed still so yes, I am completely up for it. 

Though it could cost me a marriage, before its actually happened.   

Bucks posted this 19 March 2018

Tokes and New York obviously.   Adding an international jet-setness to their overriding ability to take the piss. 

BTripz posted this 19 March 2018

@pap and @Tokyo-Saint lou_facepalm2

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BTripz posted this 19 March 2018

Originally posted by Fowllyd

Bletch and Rallyboy. The Blouse Brothers.

They're already booked up for a Right Said Fred tribute tour.

Sadoldgit posted this 19 March 2018

Originally posted by Goatboy

Barry and soggy.

 At the very least our pairing would ensure the end of Simon Cowell’s TV shows.

Areola Grandee posted this 20 March 2018

Tut.. obviously Grandee and Pap innit... 'let's get ready, let's get ready to rumble'! 

 

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gavstar posted this 20 March 2018

My vote is for @ant and @dexter 

Dubai_Phil posted this 20 March 2018

Depends on the audience Pap.

For example, on a Friday night, @Beltch & @American TV Stationwould be the obvious choice. But not sure you'd want to record their show and put it out during day time TV.

Daytime TV then it would be @Big Good Bob @Anti Depression Meds promotion

It's would all be in the Sponsorship deals.

Obviously if you got a Rum Sponsor then @Annoying Facial Hair gets game time.

So in order to commit to this we need more detail? Target Market is essential

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lifeintheslowlane posted this 20 March 2018

 Yeah yeah yeah we know all the aspiring thesps on Sotonians but realistically it has to be Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross. Their capacity to fuck up makes it nailed-on car crash TV.

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Tokyo-Saint posted this 20 March 2018

Originally posted by BTripz

@pap and @Tokyo-Saint lou_facepalm2

 

Dubai_Phil posted this 20 March 2018

BTW

You lot do realise Ant & Dec are actually @Bearsy & @Tokyo-Saint

Just saying....

Anyone seen Bear lately?

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