Bear, you've got work to do

Monkey Tennis
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Author EL James has announced that she has written a new version of her erotic bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey.

The new book, titled Grey, tells the story through the eyes of sadistic billionaire Christian Grey.

James said that since the publication of the original novel in 2011 “thousands of readers” had written to her requesting to hear Christian’s point of view.

It’s publish on June 18th, so you need to have a daily, chapter-by-chapter review here starting June 20th (I’ll give you a day off to allow you to, eherm, spill any tension you might feel).

The is what papsweb needs to put us on the map!

You do this, and we’ll be up to 61-62 members.

Guaranteed.

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Is this sort of thing gonna attract more women, Bletch?

Cos we’ve got more than enough male members on here already.

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Seems bit mental. Did You Enjoy 50 Shades Of Grey? Would you like to read the exact same story again, except this time, the author will be even less insightful?

I would prob be ok with writing some erotic fiction tho, if it would draw in Punters. I would prob set it in football in some way, i.e. the Karren Brady story or something tasteful like that. Or maybe bout a wannabe wag, and rumour gets out that she has Magic Vagina, and anyone who bangs her will score hat-trick next game. So then the big clubs start bidding war for her services, or something like that.

I will have think bout it!

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Please can you find a way of including the Chelsea sponge lady in your story, Bear.

She’s my favourite sponge lady, just ahead of Bletch.

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Yeah bet she has some stories to tell! It would have to be quite tasteful + respectful tho, to get past the papsweb censor. By which I mean, Lou.

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What you need to do is slip in the odd hot and horny guy at the beginning, so that Lou turns the dial on her censor knob to zero, then go full bore on the hot and horny gals whilst she’s distracted.

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Originally posted by @Halo-Stickman

What you need to do is slip inside the odd hot and horny guy at the beginning, so that Lou turns the dial on her censor knob to zero, then go full bore on the hot and horny gals whilst she’s distracted.

I think Bear is prepared to suffer for his art, Halo, but that’s going a little far.

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I would love it if you wrote some erotic fiction but only if it’s for women, not men.

if it’s for women, I’m switching the Papsweb censor off!

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Dunno what you mean really, how would it be different? I.e. there isn’t seperate porn videos for women and for men, don’t we all like the same i.e. Sex is Sex?

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In women’s porn you have aloof, brooding, men who don’t say much, except with their eyes, and have a habit of ripping the heroines clothes off, and have names like Dr Rosenpenis.

In men’s porn, you just have naked women.

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ok i think i can work with that

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Originally posted by @Dr.-Rosenpenis

ok i think i can work with that

Can you keep the footie vibe in it too, though? I don’t know if footie as a theme has yet been fully exploited in the genre of women’s erotic fiction.

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hmm i dunno that you have many aloof, brooding men in football tbh. I mean, I spose you might have the odd quiet one, but that would be more due to i.e. absence of mind than i.e. the hidden depths of a tortured and romantic soul.

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I thought Dr. Rosenpenis was supposed to be a weekend thing. I’m not complaining. I’m writing the screenplay for Fletch Gets Fucked. I need the material, essentially.

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Couldn’t you just write Graeme Le Saux into it, Bear?

Something for everyone.

He even reads The Guardian.

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Oh, I hope not! Dr Rosenpenis is far more suave than that common as muck Bearsy.

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I’d rather have Ronald Koeman, to be honest.

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I don’t doubt that, Lou.

I was trying to ensure that we attract new members amongst all elements of the LGBT community.

I’m not sure how RK is going to help there. Unless he also reads The Guardian.