The Torygraph says that my boys at 500/1 to win the World Cup.
WTF do they know?
Hakim Ziyech, Dutch Footballer of the Year, a mobile, streetwise playmaker who shares some of the qualities of his Ajax predecessor at No. 10, Christian Eriksen* - will run rings around your team whilst they spend their time hiding nuclear research facilities.
And our manager, Herve Renard, French protege of Claude le Roy. He was sacked by Cambridge Utd after 25 games in charge in 2004 and took over in 2016 after stints with Zambia, Angola and Ivory Coast* will lead us to a wonderful victory over your skinny, sanction-starved anti-American funsters.
The best thing about us is that we are a very well-drilled and tough defence - they qualified without conceding a goal and have let in only 11 in 23 matches over two years.*
But the worst thing about us is They’ve been given a horrible draw and their strong back four and patient approach will not mitigate their chronic weaknesses up front.*
You may recognise Nordin Amrabat - slippery if erratic Watford winger and subject of the Vicarage Road ‘Baby Give It Up’ tribute song who was sent to Leganes on loan last season .*
Cameramen will be picking out more sanguine fans than the rabid ultras of the domestic sides, the focus will be on the poor souls who dress as Lions of the Atlas in threadbare Wizard of Oz mufti.*
Fans’ favourite chant will be Allez Allez Maroc for the French speakers.*
On-field prediction WILL beat Iran in the opener but they won’t repeat 1986 and get out of the group. Bollocks to that, we’re going all the way**.
Off-field prediction is that we will be well supported and ready to give Iceland competition for best choreographed clapping routines.
*Bletch may have copied these text wholesale from the Torygraph.
** Bletch may have edited this text from the Torygraph original.