Gayās guide to peace and understanding between cyclists and drivers
Here Gay Abando answers some of those cliched questions that we hear so often and seem to be the cause of much vexation between these humble road users. Read and acknowledge and all will be well on the roads.
1. 'Cyclists jumping red lightsā
Yep, complete and utter cocks - no excusesā¦ BUT its a tiny minority of usually those āUrbanā cycling twats and couriers who seem hell bent on allowing natural selection to slowly remove them from the gene pool - stupid daft fuckers. Drivers should however recognise these as a minority and not go on and on and on as if all cyclists do this. They dont so STFU drivers
2. 'Roads are for cars as cyclists dont pay road taxā
erā¦NO. Public roads with the exception of motorways are for the use of all ā¦āroad usersā. Drivers of vehicles do NOT pay road tax either. They pay a Duty based on the level of emissions of their vehicle and many now qualify for zero VED as do cyclists.
Cyclists can have lots of fun by pointing this out to drivers who do not understnd this simple concept because they are thick fuckers
3. 'Cyclists should ride in single file.'
The Highway code allows cyclist to ride two abreast. AND it is SAFER to do so as it prevents cars from overtaking where it is NOT safe to do so, typically when there are vehicles coming the other way - one of the biggest causes of injury and death is cars overtaking cyclists and having to pull in sharply to avoid oncomming traffic and clipping bikesā¦ drivers risking lives of others to save maybe a few seconds i travel timeā¦ sorry, no excuse for this COMPLETE and utter CUNTS. Give cyclists room and only overtake as if it were a car. You will win loads of cycling friends as cyclists dont hate drivers, just those that drive like stupid cunts.
4. Cyclists should pull over and ride close to the curb
In an ideal worldā¦ yes. But 2 problems with this. 1) the amount of rubble, litter and grit, glass and other shite washed towards the curb, makes it impossible to ride there - often dangerous. 2) it encourages drivers to actlike cunts as in point no. 3 and overtake when there is on comiing traffic, effecively squeezing the cyclist into the gutterā¦
This does not excuse cyclists riding in the middle of the road like drunk fuckers - thisi s not only against the highway code, but stupid and these cyclists should be given a hard punch on the nose and have their bikes crushed.They are actng like twats.
5. Cyclists - Dont ride on the pavement
Makes you look a ignornat fuccker and its dangerous to pedestrians
6. Know your hand signals
Common courtesy goes a long way. Giving right of way should be rewarded with a smile and a wave - especially to attractive drivers and lady cyclists in lycra.
The tradditional āwankerā gesture can be applied liberally for those that fail to observe points 1 to 5.
Finally - ultimately if you are in car you are protected by a steel cage. Cyclists are not. Hitting a cyclist at even 30mph with a steel cage is likely to kill them and leave the driver and car unharmed. Whilst cyclists should observe the rules and regulations and common courtesy, the onus must be on those who have the potential to cause the most damage to be more carefull. A recent death of a local cyclist was caused by a woman on her phone who was simply ignoring the road. She drove into the back of him at 60mph and knocked him into a tree. She later tried deleting her phone records to try and avoid this being discovered claiming the cyclist ācame out of nowhereāā¦ phone records showed otherwiseā¦ yet she only got 2 years for this killing and perverting the cause of justice and will be out in 6 monthsā¦ is it any wonder that there is so much distrust between the two groups when the cars can and frequently kill? Yes there are a minority of riders that are twats who break the rules, but they only really cause irritation and maybe a few minutes travel delay. The minority that do so in a car often kill.
