Disastrous first dates/one night stands/romantic encounters

If anybody was on the receiving end of the micro-penis i assume it would have been just in.

I thank you - i’m here all week.

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We have a guy called Justin in my pool team (have I mentioned I play in a pool league of a Wednesday evening?)

His team shirt (I know, sad innit) has 2" on the back, it took him ages to work it out.

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I wish I had something interesting to contribute to this thread, but sadly all my encounters are pretty lame. :lou_sad:

There was a guy who was really into slapping my bum. Like a proper full on, naked, over his knee, slapping session. Which is fine, but it wasn’t doing much for me. That didn’t last.

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I’m surprised that you consented to that in the first place…

So reminds me of a stag do I had to organise…

I’ll try and find time at work Sunday to capture the essence of what was possibly the best gag ever on a stag while keeping it in the realms of hilarity that it actually was AND it was PC

Are you in a Pool team Bob? Well. I never knew that. Maybe you could set up a separate thread?

Lou, which one is the sarcasm penis head?

:lou_wink_2:

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Ya gotta stay open minded BBB!

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:lou_eyes_to_sky: + :lou_is_a_flirt:

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Nope. Despite my best efforts, I can’t make this one PC enough to publish on the web, and what’s worse it comes out longer than an average Golf Story, so will spare you that.

I’ll save it for IF I manage to get back for a pre-match beer this season.

My mate Wes recently had a disaster of a first date.

He went out with this party from South America who it turns out was on the rebound from an on/off situation with a bloke from Holland.

It all started off okay but as the afternoon wore on it became obvious that it was a match not made in heaven.

Neither of them could agree on much, and the date itself went from bad to worse.

Nothing was organised properly, they kept falling out with each other, and the other party kept muttering about the ex and how it might be better to get back together with him - not that doing that would address the main problem which was in the bedroom.

The two of them had no chemistry, neither seemed keen on getting down to it and apart from one very late half-hearted grope, it was a frustrating and unsatisfactory conclusion to a disastrous first date.

The two of them are meeting again next week to see if they can improve things - we shall see.

It wouldn’t surprise me if the ex is back on the scene then, or maybe my mate and the ex will get it together and the South American will be out in the cold.

Either way it was one to forget.

Leave it to me, Lou - I’ll set you up on a date with Bletch. Not sure if he’ll want to slap your bum, but I can certainly guarantee a disaster.

Given the Weinstein and other allegations, should this be reported to the police as sexual assault - even though it happened over 20 years ago?

Clearly the bloke was very very very drunk but was that an excuse for being taken advantage of in such a way?

Or should he chalk it up to experience?

Asking for a friend…

Unless she was on top all the time it ended up consensual so no need for further action on this count.

The serious point is that it wasn’t 100% consensual - “no, don’t do that”, means exactly that doesn’t it? Arguably it is assault isn’t it whether it is a woman or man on the receiving end.

Guess the concept was alien back in the day.

Deffo need glasses.

I’m reading about Cobham and an Alien on a 1st Date disaster thread

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I would like to ask a question here.

Who has not, when having consensual sex said the following.

Stop

Ow Stop that fucking hurts.

What the fuck did you do that for?

and then recommenced proceedings to a happy ending after the other participant/s stopped rearranged what what going on and then continued.

If the answer to the above is none of you then I have been abused for years and need counselling and possibly a large compensation payout.

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Exactly @philippinesaint

I initially thought nah! I can be on the receiving end of those comments but i wouldn’t cry STOP if a bus hit me, but then I thought bout it bit more and ur right. I get v.nervous when she’s on top. Unless she is being careful & got her angles just right I worry that she’s going to snap my cock off.

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At least you don’t have to worry about this any more

There is the old adage regarding relationships. When you first start seeing a girl you should put a penny in the pot every time you have sex. Once you marry or have cubs, every time you have sex you should take a penny out. That pot will never be emptied.

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I’ve said that to myself a few Sunday mornings in the trot home, tbh.

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