Fucking unveiling of, and hysterical reaction to Department Store/Supermarket xmas ads.
Why is it being reported on news bulletins that John Lewis have released a christmas advert*? Why do I care fucking Elbow have done a Beatles cover.
Why are scores of idiotic mindless capitalist seals clapping along in approval sharing this shit all over social media.
Prats, the lot of them.
*EDIT: They released a Christmas ADVERT, not a Christmas. That’d be odd.
And you have done just what?
Cheeky git.
I ain’t shared the bastard thing. I’m taking a stand and refusing to watch it.
Post links please. 
What is funny is that they have created this merry go round that none of them can get off. Which marketing director is going to have the balls to stop pissing money away on this stuff and risk finding that sales flat line.
The Ad agencies have hit the jackpot
If, like me, you have children that say like, like - you may find this piece of advice helpful.
When they say something like “I will be back at like, eight”.
Say something “What, like nine or seven?”.
Don’t expected to be liked, like. How did that become a thing?
I am long on record as despising the prats that visit the Coke truck. Yes, I know that Coke invented Santa. I also know that Santa is an anagram of Satan.
'Murica
I have just had a real vent at one of my work colleagues who is getting excited because the Coke truck is visiting Bournemouth Square soon.
Things like “stand at the side of the road and wank over every red arctic that drives by…” were said
Thing that gets me is he is a practising Christian!!!
Already do. Good advice.
If, like me, you have children that raise their vocal intonation towards the end of every statement as if it were a question - you may find this piece of advice helpful.
When they say something like
“I went down the road to get some vodka”
and they raise the tone towards the end of the sentence, stop them every time and ask:
“Is that a statement of would you like me to answer it?”
Don’t expect to be liked by your children but to really enjoy their contempt you have to ask their friends the same question every time they do it too.
I find the most effective way of dealing with this is to copy them, but in a really exaggerated way. They soon get fed up, and it really does drive home to them how prattish they sound. With the raising tone thing, i have used this method in a pub with a guy who was doing it, i just joined in but my raising tone was exaggerated to the point of stopping all other conversations and everybody listening. There was much sniggering from most people as the penny dropped as to what i was up to. The poor sap i was imitating carried on regardless.
Probably done this before, but as I heard it again today I’ll go for it. Can I get a flat latte? No, the barista will get it for you, you twat!
@pap got to the big red truck thing before me.
@btripz it’s annoying isn’t it? Perfectly sane, well educated people click on the ‘i’m going’ to the big red truck thing on facebook and talk about it being such a christmasy thing. Utter rubbish.
Someone wrote to the Echo about how the truck and company isn’t great re plastics and got loads of people telling her to lighten up and stopping being a misery guts. But sugary drinks are causing obesity issues around the world and the health issues related to that, plastic is a problem as it’s poluuting pretty much everywhere, they are bleeding dry the land around the factories (quite an issue in India), their dodgy behaviour in Colombian subsidary factories is also a problem. So around this time each year I post this link.
See, this bugs me as well…the Americanization of coffees - all this flat this, light shit that - its a fucking coffee and it comes as it comes, like people who ask for well done Filet Mignon… or order ‘seared’ bluefin tuna and then send it back as its ‘not cooked’ - ignorant cunts.
Request to the mods - can we retitle this thread “Grumpy old bloke gripes #9” please? If I have the number wrong, and there have more than eight previous threads in which grumpy old blokes gripe about things that have happened over the past few years, please forgive me and put the correct number in the thread title.
New things come along. Old things change. Some old things wither and fade away*. It’s called life.
* Feel free to insert your own joke at Bletch’s expense here. Even if you just think of one that’s OK.
When you’ve put in the years sonny you can have a gripe too.
…but until then STFU. 
There is evolution / change and there is just wrong - well done filet is just wrong. And I reserve the right to whinge about the Americanization of things. It used to slowely evolve so teh shift never felt so noticeable… why do we have to copy their crap? What next, change our gun laws? Vote for a fuckwit? … oh, we aleady did that 
I agree about the filet mignon (or indeed complaints about seared tuna not being cooked), but that’s just people being thick.
I’m having fillet steak for my tea tonight … I will not be under the grill for very long