OK, I’m jealous.
One possible theory:-
"Hello Mr Referee,
I hear on the terraces that you’re a bit of a wanker.
_Wanna meet some porn stars? We know loads. _
It’s better than tossing yourself off to a picture of Pierluigi Collina. Just go easy on the lads, eh? No-one will notice. It’s just West Ham. Fair play, mate"
