IAAF makes FIFA look like Choirboys

The evidence was presented to the IAAF before the 2012 London Olympics and they didn’t have the balls to act upon it. As a consequence the London Olympics were a sham.

  • Revealed many instances of inadequate testing and poor compliance around testing standards.
  • Suggested that neither the Russian athletics federation (Araf) the Russian anti-doping agency (Rusada), nor the Russian Federation can be considered anti-doping code-compliant.
  • Recommended that Wada withdraw its accreditation of the Moscow laboratory as soon as possible and advocated the permanent removal of its director Grigory Rodchenko, whom it accuses of asking for and accepting bribes and intentionally destroying samples he was told to keep.
  • Confirmed allegations that some Russian doctors and/or laboratory personnel acted as enablers for systematic cheating along with athletics coaches.
  • Identified the intentional and malicious destruction of more than 1,400 samples by Moscow laboratory officials after receiving written notification from Wada to preserve target samples.
  • Said that Russian security service FSB were present at the Moscow and Sochi labs and that this was part of a wider pattern of “direct intimidation and interference by the Russian state with the Moscow laboratory operations.”
  • Found that Rusada gave athletes advance notice of tests, hid missed tests, bullied doping control officers and their families and took bribes to cover up missed tests.
  • Found that a number of Russian athletes suspected of doping could have been prevented from competing at the London 2012 Olympics had it not been for “the collective and inexplicable laissez-faire policy” adopted by the IAAF and the Russian athletics federation.
  • Found that Russian law enforcement was involved in efforts to “interfere with integrity of samples”.
  • Found evidence of multiple rules breaches by IAAF officials and found the governing body to be “inexplicably lax in following up suspicious blood (and other) profiles”.

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And this is just one specific area of doping allegations in athletics that WADA is reporting back on, with wider investigations by them still ongoing. Good luck Seb Coe.

This may be somewhat tangential, but if my name were Richard Pound I wouldn’t call myself Dick.

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Completely back on topic, it’s rife isn’t it? So rife that it’s probably worth not trying to stop it. So embrace it instead. Let people do whatever they like, and let’s finally get the answer to some of life’s most probing questions. How far can we enhance humanity by loading it up with all kinds of chemical stimulants? Who wins? The blood doper from Belarus or the 'Roid runner from Russia?

How boring are the current crop of “n years after” interviews they do with famous athletes? What do you really want to see? Tessa Sanderson living a quiet middle-aged existence, or some chemically fuelled shell of a person that has taken so many substances in pursuit of victory that he or she _thinks _ it’s the Middle Ages?

So many opportunities lost.

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Maybe that is the answer Pap. Sad as it is the cheats in so many of the sports we all love to watch have made a mockery of the whole competing on a levl playing field ethos. Perhaps we should be looking to produce the best performance enhancing drugs rather than the best athletes? Perhaps the World Cups should go to those who are best at bribery and buttering up the FIFA Officials. Fair play? Pah, win at all costs…but as plucky losers we would never win another competition again, we just arent that good at cheating but are awesome at losing!

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It is the answer. Stop putting our fingers in our ears over the substance abuse problem. Start treating all sports like Formula One - a combination of human raw material and human ingenuity. Usain Bolt will seem like a pensioner dawdling to the post office on pension day compared to the sprinters that will eventually emerge from Williams-Pfizer Racing.

Yeah pap bang on the money as per usual! How fast a man can run 100m doesn’t interest me much, but how much faster can he run it if he is pumped full of roids and coked off his nut? That is totally something i would tune in to watch!

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I Would.

It doesn’t just have to be drugs either, Bear. This is the 21st century after all, which according to many films which depict events of this age, is when a lot of the cyborg age kicks off.

It’s low tech, sure. It is much more conspicuous than the seamless tech that will replace it, but just imagine if your roid raging cokehead is pipped to the post by a man with a jet engine in each buttock.

End this vanilla human shit.

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I think, as a further solution to pap’s suggestion would be to have separate entities.

Keep the Olympics, Worlds etc as they are. With the exception that, these athelets are even more rigorously tested. Literally, you have to pee in a cup/give blood right then and there on the podium. This will be the true beacon of sportsmanship, what we plaster all over the tv and show to kids etc. They get the glory, and the accolades, and rightly so.

Then, on the other hand, you run a separate, anything goes event. I propose the Chemypics. These will be held in a field in Somerset, or elsewhere, every 4 years. As with the athletes, any substance is hunky dory. Get a proper festival vibe and get bands, dj’s and the like down too. Obviously, this event is strictly over 18. Not only would it have a hint of the freakshow, there could be some potential for fantastically entertaining new events:

The 10m Ketamine dash - this may not sound gruelling, but pump these athletes full of enough Ketamine, and watch how long and how much effort it’ll take for them to get over the line.

Amphetamine marathon, much like the current marathon, only set to music. And entrants are full of amphetamine. Under starters orders, participants run, to music, for as long as they humanely can. ‘Refuelling’ permitted, so this may not be the best spectator sport. Could go on for a fair few days.

Speed fraffing. Polish off a slug-sized lined of coke, whoever’s jaw goes fastest whilst spouts vaguely coherent fraff, wins.

I’m on to a winner here.

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Originally posted by @pap

It doesn’t just have to be drugs either, Bear. This is the 21st century after all, which according to many films which depict events of this age, is when a lot of the cyborg age kicks off.

It’s low tech, sure. It is much more conspicuous than the seamless tech that will replace it, but just imagine if your roid raging cokehead is pipped to the post by a man with a jet engine in each buttock.

End this vanilla human shit.

I dunno if I would go as far as rocket packs, but I thought they were on the right lines with that one bro who got metal legs fitted to improve his running. I forget his name. He shot his girlfriend. The athletes should all do surgeries like this, i.e. swimmers may wish to replace their hands with some kind of propeller, and high jump bros would prob wish to remove their legs + have i.e. zebedee spring fitted.

Are you going to restrict athletes to just two legs or are we going for unresticted genetic engineering Bearsy? I have a mate with three legs and he’s willing to act as a sperm donor.

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My friend posted a poem on Facebook about that. I do not know if it his original work, and in the day of Theresa May’s Facebook stormtroopers, I don’t really want to attribute it to him now.

Roses are red
Violets are glorious
Never surprise
Oscar Pistorius