It's Day 25 in the House
Pap's scrotal sac has never been so clean. Possibly due the fact no one has taken a dump in 3 days. A combination of diet induced constipation and the fact the toilet is severely compromised. Areoles was the last to use it and his arse must have literally exploded. As if shit were wet shrapnel from a tightly packed bomb, its caked on the walls, floor and ceiling following a spectacular ending to the aforementioned constipation.
He is now without any friends in the house as he refuses to clean it having said 'I have to deal with enough shit listening to Barry spout Bollocks without adding to it....'
The house mates are getting desperate. Bearsy has already taken to the woods.
Meanwhile, Fatso's world record beatng continuous masturbation attempt has come to an end. The ferocious activity has had the inevitable impact and he now walks funny and is whimpering. Bletch and CD have offered to apply soothing oils.
Soggy and Slowing are poking sticks at a dead cat they found close the the pool this morning - the only words exchanged so far being 'what is it?'
Meanwhile Barry has returned to the diary room and recorded '' Carrillon? Trust the stupid cunt Les to sign a player already bust before he plays for us, bet he gets fucking arrested for steeling the Monaco pension fund - stupid cunt''