Just had a crap in the shithouse

And this got me thinking of the shithouse racist World Cup opener between Russia and Saudi, you couldn’t make it up, it really is the group of death, who’d have thought Uruguay would hold the moral high ground as their competitor is Egypt, a few wry smiles when that group was hung and drawn…

Ah, click bait thread title.

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Just had a crap in the shithouse…

…and I couldn’t wait to get out. The Ayatollah is going to have an epi when she smells that bad boy.

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And that was the sort of comment I was expecting after seeing the thread title.

As I said, click bait…

True story.

There was a guy at work who would lay a real ocean-goer every morning. It would just lay there like a brown Anaconda waiting for it’s next victim.

Horrible. :lou_facepalm_2:

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Oddly enough, this has been a topic of discussion all morning. Context is first poo at a festival. Two of our number have dropped large deposits. Craps have happened in the shithouse. We are not too far from them, as it goes.

We’ve seen many stagger, and some swagger out of the portaloo. Important seal breaking events are going down.

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Builders bucket and cat litter. Job done.

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Bearwould just do it in the woods.

Probably.

Bear is going to be fucked come the winter.

He has been holed up with his mrs in hibernation since he got married

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Having worked on building sites for a fair amount of my working life, a thunderbox, in the summer heat, with a few days of shite swilling around the collection box is not a pleasant place to be. Especially as at least 50% of those who use the portaloo seem to think it acceptable to piss all over the seat with no regard for the next user. I can imagine a festival thunderbox to be in even worse a state, particularly after the trendy types have scoffed a rake of falafel burgers and necked half a dozen pints of organically brewed cider.

It reminds me of a lad i was at college with. He seemed to have to shit in every pub we went in. One drop of beer casued such a tumultuous reaction in his gut, that he became known as “Shit-Tank” to everyone on the course. His crowning glory was waiting for his burger in Star Burger on the Gloucester Road in Bristol, only to have to run out just before it was cooked. Unfortunately he didn’t make the door and blew a load of arse gravy into his strides. Cue much laughter from us, his “mates”. I think we were all unaware of IBS at this time.

Another temporary toilet related funny involved the (quite posh) WC blocks put on Clapham Common at the start of the London-Brighton bike ride a few years ago. We arrived for an early start (about 7.30am) and visited the khazi prior to the ride. Even then, the floor was absolutely swimming in piss. My friend, who was one of these “all the gear, no idea” types when it came to cycling, went in first with his cleated racing shoes on, only to slip like a baby giraffe on ice and soak up a fair amount of the piss into his fancy cycling gear. Naturally he was very upset, especially as it became one of those, “can’t get up for slipping down again” moments, meaning he covered both front and back in both piss and those horrible bits of soaked loo roll that find their way into the mix. And he had to ride the 70 odd miles to Brighton too. Ha Ha!!

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Kids…

Back in the 90s my lad was at university in London and he shared a house on the edge of Clapham Common. The old toilet block there was a haven for cottagers, it was known affectionately by the locals as ‘Gobblers Gulch’. The old boy from the council who’s job it was to pop in there four times a day and do the cleaning used to drink in the local pub. In the bar one evening he was regaling all and sundry with his experiences and ended up by saying,“If someone went in there for a shite it was like a breath of fresh air”. Brought the house down!

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