Names for your remote control

Ok, we’ve lost, didn’t sign a CB (yet) and our font is under close scrutiny so I feel it’s time for an inane thread.

Inspired by a discussion on 5 Live this morning, what terms or names does your family use to refer to the TV remote? *

*imagine a black screen with white flashing text with a klaxon noise, a la QI, when Fatsod responds with ‘Graham’.

The Plipper.

FFS

No new centre back … beaten by Swansea … Tinkerman fuckin’ with my forum …

and now I find out my tv remote is supposed to have a name !!

…my self esteem is at an all time low :lou_sad:

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The buttons

not very original but seems to have stuck around for many years

Clicker

Sky remote

TV Remote

or as they are fondly know.

Where is…

… the fucking Sky remote or just replace sky with TV, Apple, Amazon or DVD, and it all the same.

Remote!

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The Dildo

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'mote

kids called it / them that when they were little and it stuck.

I don’t know about you lot, but this thread is not making me feel better about the lack of centre back! If anything it is just a reminder of our failure on 31st January 2017.

I call mine The Buttonmaster Gatekeeper to the Open Sewer, as I am channelling Mary Whitehouse and I’m slightly demented.

“fucking thing” as in “where has that fucking thing got to?”

“Thing”…as in “why doesn’t this fuckin’ thing work like it’s supposed to”

And I always leave at least one old one around as well, just to confuse myself.

The scenario normally plays out like this

Wheres the remote

who nicked the fucking batteries

have we got any spares

Ding ding (ring for the house maid)

Heres some money go and get some AA and AAA batteries.

Here are your batteries sir

Why the fuck did you by C cells and PP3

because that is all they had.

:lou_facepalm_2:

‘Mine’ or ‘yours’

The goat. Because of Muppets From Space.

why do remote controls in hotels never work properly? Is there some technical reason? It’s pissing me off.

because you keep hitting the paws button.

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“Claude Puel”, because I like to pretend I’m Les Reed and I can use it to do whatever I want. Do you see? DO YOU SEE?

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The buttons get stuck.

It’s a well-known fact that the average hotel remote contains 673 different types of ‘DNA’.

If you know what I mean.

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