In praise of...(the papsweb honours)

Ok, I might be the one and only poster on this thread, but I wanted somewhere we can acknowledge extraordinary acts by members of the Sotonians community.

Have at it… .

… SO5

Who leant me his season ticket for the Swansea game.

Only problem was that the ticket courier was a right twat who I had to drink with and make forced conversation.

SO5, you sir, are a gentleman and are duly awarded…

Knight of the Helm-et

You will retain this honour for a further week and you are permitted to use the honorific in your post signature.

Use it wisely.

Arise, you helm-et

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Fuck him. I have a spare ticket for at least half the matches this season and that was one. You could have sat next to me and enjoyed…oh, wait.

As you were, arise SO5, bloody good work.

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Bletch, I’m touched - I hadn’t expected to be writing an acceptance speech so forgive me if an odd tear clouds my usual lucidity

I’d like to thank the Academy for the very nice er, honorific. I’m glad that the Bletch’s presence prompted a Saints win (while I’ve just seen two crappy draws…)

I can, of course, only concur with the wise words in the citation concerning the ticket courier.

However, I should also mention the entire matchday drinking club, their friends, families and sundry passers-by - who all begged me not to give Bletch the ticket.

For the week it’s it my posession I’ll keep the helmet very well polished.

But to be honest I’d have preferred the points - not too many, just enough to take me above Fowllyd (who, astonishingly, is top - who the hell upvotes him - are there lots of Welsh on here?)

SO5, Knight of the Helm-et

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A thead for sycophants, pure and simple. SO5 should be downvoted for subjecting St Marys to Bletch!

“Tell me ref, I’m confused, you see I’m not sure of the rules but do you really think that was a yellow card for Long?”

Pah

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Backslapping bastards.

Before the Sparta game, a girl asked me for a light in the Rockstone garden. I actually had two lighters so (oo-er missus) I gave her one, facilitating not only the immediate shortening of her life, but ongoing (or at least until she mislays it).

No accolades for pap, despite the fact I have multiple witnesses.

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You only wanted a feel of her tits.

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Unless Mrs pap is reading and then it was a simple act of chivalry.

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Keep up GB. She was the one who wanted a feel, thats what asking for a light means. Idiot.

(*Pap, not you)

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I deserve an award for astonishing self-restraint. Not only did I have to sit in the pub and talk to a bald-headed, bespectacled cunt in a poncy linen jacket, but the twat then followed me all the way to fucking St Mary’s and sat in front of me for the whole match. He was gone for quite a while at half time, and I hoped he’d just fucked off, but he came back with a hot dog and sat there stuffing it into his horrible face.

And yet I let him walk away unscathed.

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True - I was there. It was like this…

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Not the first time I’ve seen a sentence containing the words Bletch and touched - usually being read out in a magistrates court while a puzzled farmer shakes his head and comforts his bewildered but aroused livestock.

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Paging Turkzilla.

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Nothing wrong with rocking the slaphead speccy look - it’s very 2016.

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All hail Sir Clive, original gangster in his tricked out ride.

Yeah, but you didn’t see the shirt and jacket combination.

He was a fucking disgrace, imo. Not only did he wear a blue shirt and blazer to a home game, but from what little I can remember, the only flecks of white on the pattern of the shirt resembled writhing sperm.

Next time he comes to a home game I’m going to have a tin of scarlet Plastikote handy in case he’s in “Gosport colours” again. That’ll be addressed quickly, I can tell you.

Who the fuck wears shirt and blazer to a game - unless in our shitty corporate hostility eating prawn cocktail sarnies and drinking both sorts of wine (red and white).

Actually this should probably go on the not happy clappy thread…Sorry, as you were.

Originally posted by @cobham-saint

Who the fuck wears shirt and blazer to a game - unless in our shitty corporate hostility eating prawn cocktail sarnies and drinking both sorts of wine (red and white).

Actually this should probably go on the not happy clappy thread…Sorry, as you were.

A question put to bletch at the time. No excuse was accepted.

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Good. But from what I gather he doesn’t attend many games so he probably doesn’t realise that looking like a tit isn’t compulsory.