Sex in public

OK, I’m not a prude. Well I am really, but I try to be open minded. Well I don’t really - I wish it were 1934 again actually. Anyway, this afternoon Mrs Bletch and I went for a walk along the Itchen Navigation. We headed north out of Eastleigh and as we crossed Highfield Road on the public footpath we came across two young people engaged in an act of sexual congress. They were also accompanied by a small child of unknown age and gender who was in a pram. The woman’s bare arse was facing me, and his hands were cupping and clutching each ample cheek, his trousers were round is knees and from the angle of their bodies and the look of intent on his face, he was planning to fill her with his seed.

They were probably 25 metres from Highfield Road just around the bend on what on a Sunday is a very busy public footpath. We got to within 6 or 7 metres, and they still hadn’t seen us. In the end, and feeling somewhat embarrassed, I clapped my hands to warn them of our approach. When they heard the short, but polite burst of applause they hurriedly fixed their clothing (whilst affording me and Mrs Bletch an unwanted view of various sexy parts).

It was excruciatingly embarrassing as we walked past them, so to break the silence I decided to say “And a very good afternoon to you both, too”. I felt quite victorian.

Finally, the worst part was that both my wife and I recognised the guy. He used to ‘step out’ with our neighbour’s daughter, and he works in Costa Coffee in The Swan Centre in Eastleigh.

I often pop in for a coffee on a Friday lunchtime on my lunch break, so it’s going to be very difficult as he hands me my medium latte to go, knowing that I know what he does on Sunday afternoons with those hands.

Discussing it afterwards, my wife and I decided that they must have been almost expecting/wanting to get caught. It’s just such a public area that it was sure to happen. I guess the thrill must enhance the climax?

Other than Toke who uses his dog (but that’s another story) to track down this sort of activity on a Sunday afternoon, is this more common than I appreciate? Anyone here engage in this sort of thing?

Shocked of Eastleigh.

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Am I understanding this right…they were doing it on a public path?! LOL.

Sex outdoors - it’s all about the location!

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I’ve always found the New Forest a good location for al fresco sexy time. I like bluebells.

nb: with real girl not pony.

Originally posted by @Goatboy

I’ve always found the New Forest a good location for al fresco sexy time. I like bluebells.

Aw, that’s sweet.

Acceptable locations:

  • remote forest with bluebells

  • remote corn field

  • remote lakeside with tall grass

Unacceptable locations

  • Eastleigh town centre.

A very public path, Lou. With a baby in tow.

I’m trying to imagine your face whilst Eric Pickles is doing a passable impression of a missionary, pinning you to the floor on a beautiful summer’s day, in an otherwise idyllic and leafy glade.

It’s surely not all about the location?

Dammit Bletch, why have you started this very interesting thread just as I’m about to depart to a place without internet access!

I’m gonna have to upgrade my mobile - just when I’d mastered the dial on the one I’ve got :slight_frown:

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Not sweet Lou! Damned hardcore filthy rutting!

The bluebells were sweet! I was imagining a most romantic scene!

Bad luck Halo!

Eww. Well yeah, right location and who you’re with…

Originally posted by @Coxford_lou

Originally posted by @Halo-Stickman

Dammit Bletch, why have you started this very interesting thread just as I’m about to depart to a place without internet access!

I’m gonna have to upgrade my mobile - just when I’d mastered the dial on the one I’ve got :slight_frown:

Bad luck Halo!

I’ve got a feeling this one has got legs Lou, so hopefully it will still be running when I get back. :smile:

Nothing wrong with your phone.

I’ll send you a post card with a summary of the thread.

Have a good one my friend!

Originally posted by @Halo-Stickman

I’ve got a feeling this one has got legs Lou, so hopefully it will still be running when I get back. :smile:

I’ll try and keep it going for you Halo! Have a lovely week away!

Cheers Bletch and Lou - you have a good week too.

I’ll try to keep up with events.

xx

I think this is one of those areas in life where experience informs much. For example, when I was trotting about in my former guise as undergraduate barman, I once saw a couple banging on a table (during the fast bit of “Common People”, no less) while I was out collecting glasses. I thought that was bad then.

A few years later, having just banged a nympho girlfriend in Watts Park, my attitude on the whole thing changed.

Don’t get caught, is my advice*

* Especially not by bletch

Originally posted by @pap

A few years later, having just banged a nympho girlfriend in Watts Park, my attitude on the whole thing changed.

Goaters and his bluebells elevated the scene to a poetic level on a par with John Donne.

Papster brought us back down to earth. :wink:

I know papster, it was disgusting.

I can’t believe that people do that sort of thing in public.

It’s something I never want to see again.

And to ensure that I don’t, I’ll be waiting there at the same time every week (wearing loose fitting trousers) - just so I can give them a piece of my mind.

that sounds like the talk of someone who learned that the hard way.

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Originally posted by @Coxford_lou

Unacceptable locations

  • Eastleigh town centre.

Completely agree. Every time you’re on the vinegar strokes, you open your eyes, see a bit of “town planning” and the moment is gone.

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Definitely not!! A beautiful remote forest, with a nice man who’s got the hots for you = aphrodisiac. Eastleigh town centre with Ryan Gosling = turnoff.