Sotonian’s Personal Grooming Advice Line

Good morning Sotonians. I think you’ll agree this is a subject close to the heart of ALL modern men and women. With the need to look good at all times since the advent of the “Selfie” beauty tips are worth their weight in iPhones.

I’d like to start the “Advice Line” with this thorny subject…Cream or Razor? This Saturday my good lady and I will be jetting off to sunny climes…a two week cruise in the Caribbean.

My good lady has been “on top of preparations” for the last 3 months; haven’t been able to move in the dining room for suitcases, flight bags, Ts, Polos, shorts, underwear, socks and sandals. Just to prove I’m also prepared I’ve made sure my MP3 player and camera are fully charged.

Hmmm, where was I? Ah yes… Cream or Razor?

Being a fit and active pensioner with a honed and toned torso I’d like to elicit an opinion on what’s best to provide that defined well muscled look. I’m favouring cream at the moment; I just don’t fancy risking nicking a nipple or slicing a bollock with a razor when trimming my Speedo-line.

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I use razor and sissors but have been known to shed a bit of claret. If your hand isnt steady I would go for the cream!

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Good lord, I thought you’d gone AJ there for a second.

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If you are heading near the nether regions with the cream read this first

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Cream/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK

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I use a lighter to burn off any excess hair from my ball bag and arse crack.

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Being often found clad in lycra, cream all the way! In fact, I’ll be doing my smooth criminals and around my choclate starfish shortly.

For my highly toned legs I use a ladies razor. Ooooooo, silky.

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The only thing I really maintain is beard and hair.

I use whatever-the-fuck miracle shampoo/conditioner combo that happens to be in the bathroom I’m using.

My top tip; don’t buy beard oil. Coconut oil does the job and is 1000x cheaper.

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My beard becomes a goatee from March. The Doris is in charge of maintaining it. :smiley:

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Originally posted by @pap

Originally posted by @Flahute

My beard becomes a goatee from March. The Doris is in charge of maintaining it. :smiley:

I rest my case m’lord.

I have had a goatee in the past but only for a week or two after someone suggested the look, (grown as a period accessory for The Le Mans Classic) was less Engish Gentleman, more Colonel Sanders. :lou_angry:

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On the subject of grooming, does anyone know whether Bear escaped from the clutches of Lou and those two American broads?

If you go for the shaving round the speedo/bikini line, don’t wade into a salt water pool or sea a few hours later. Didn’t happen to me, but I witnessed a few Russian ladeez who obviously had tiddied up downstairs and under the arm pits, and were in agony as they entered a salt water jacuzzi. FAF to watch.

Blowtorch.

Fuck sake what is wrong with you lot, let it all be natural FFS

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Waxing is probably best avoided:

Hope that helps.

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I’ve had my Mrs wax my legs loads of times.

It smarts a wee bit!

That’s the beauty of coconut oil, bTripz. It is natural.

My mum swears by it.

She stood next to a jar the other day and called the postman a cunt.

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