Being a thrify pensioner I have found myself with a bit of a dilemma.
Now as winter approaches I find myself primarily attired in Vulcanised Footware. Not a problem in itself but it is taking a heavy toll on my sock drawer, the real dilemma being I find this morning I have worn a hole in the heel of ONE sock.
Does the team think, (considering my wife refuses to repair said breached sock) I should disgard both socks or appeal to other likewise affected persons to lauch the “Sotonian Sock Exchange”
Members could post a picture of the solitary good sock and other members in posession of a matching solitary sock charge perhaps 25p to make up a good set.
Your thoughts on the subject would be appreciated.
I think you are missing a trick. Cut off one foot, thereby doubling the life of all your socks, sell the left over shoes and your finances will be in clover. Being a pensioner, and it being winter, you should stay at home anyway so the hopping should not be an issue.
Don’t be a slave to convention, lifeintheslowlane. The quest for the matching sock is fruitless; just treat it as a bonus if it happens, and revel in your two fingers up to convention otherwise (paisley and tartan! that’ll fucking tell them!).
I was emancipated from the tyranny of matching socks a long time ago. Liberation is glorious.
That “pap” dear chap is just a futile gesture, hidden beneath a trouser cuff. OK in the summer when you can flaunt your mis-matched socks with sandals and shorts but I’m betting you’re the kind who thinks sock and sandals shouldn’t be worn together.
I think that there is a wider issue here. What about all of the perfectly good socks that go missing from the laundry basket to the washing machine. I have kept loads back in the event of me losing a foot in an accident.
That “pap” dear chap is just a futile gesture, hidden beneath a trouser cuff. OK in the summer when you can flaunt your mis-matched socks with sandals and shorts but I’m betting you’re the kind who thinks sock and sandals shouldn’t be worn together.
I’m the sort of person that dreads the advent of summer, when men begin to ditch trousers for shorts. Unleashing the pins after a winter of sitting in trousers? Meh. If you’re lucky, it’s slightly more disgusting than lifting a paving slab up and slightly less disgusting than what Luke presumably felt when removing Vader’s helmet.
And that’s just for the person concerned. Everyone else has to walk around being blinded by these hairy ivory slabs until a bit of sun comes out, which as we know, doesn’t always happen.
Show a bit of respect, men, I say! Are your knees really that fucking impressive that we have to suffer those khaki numbers on the days you think it might be sunny? Is the discomfort of your colleagues and pets an acceptable price to pay to have the breeze bristling around your bollocks?
Sandals and/or shorts. Unless it’s really fucking hot, I’m not for either.
Yes I can understand your stance on this subject…a collection of single socks made in the hope of one day losing a foot. I wish we all had your kind of forward planning…the world would be a better place for it.
Great idea, I have a selection of athlete’s foot riddled single socks looking for a good home. They even have the days of the week on the soles for ease of pairing.
A nipper off our estate reportedly employed a special sock for masturbation, which he’d stash behind the radiator between furious bouts. When he moved out, his mum noticed an odd smell coming from his old room. The sock was rotting away behind the radiator and teeming with literal maggots.
If she hasn’t thrown it out, I’m sure she’ll be willing to donate it. It’s been 23 years though; don’t elevate any hopes.
Now if these socks have a different coloured toe for each day of the week we could possibly have a set between us if you pay the P&P I will certainly send them to a place far away.
Thankfully I only need to wear socks when at work or travelling to and from work, so you will alll know what they will smell like when I arrive at either end. (if you read the travel section). I just need assistance to remove them from the feet either because they are stuck in position with copious amounts of secretions from pores in my ankles and feet or I am just to drunk to take them off. It is then the responcibility of either the housemaid or the cabin boy (not named Roger) to ensure they come back as a loving couple. NB from the above post the housemaid is winning as I have nearly a weeks worth of work socks to clear out.
