[spoilers] Star Wars : The Force Awakens

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pap posted this 26 December 2015 - Last edited 26 December 2015

It has been out for almost ten days.   I don't want to wreck anything for anyone that hasn't seen the movie yet, but I do want to talk about the film.

Get on it.   Btw, the forum includes a feature whereby the first part of each post is included as a "mouseover" title.   Try not to include huge spoilers in your opening sentence.

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saintbletch posted this 30 December 2015

lifeintheslowlane posted this 30 December 2015

Yep...dat's da one...the hairdresser and the cowboy with their mates, one in a tinfoil suit and the pedal bin. They kill all the bad guys and go to live happily ever after on the planet of the Teddy Bears.

Whoops sorry belated spoiler alert.

Areola Grandee posted this 30 December 2015

Have inaly gone to see it. Redux of episode IV - so lets all guess who Rae/Ray is related to? 

But big fun, enjoyed it and miles better than anything from I-III and great in 3D.... anymore and its into spoiler territory...

 

pap posted this 07 February 2016 - Last edited 07 February 2016

Everyone that has seen the movie knows how small a part Mark Hamill has.

Paid north of $1m, according to this.    If someone offered to make me a dollar millionaire for standing on rock in the Irish Sea and turning around slowly, I think I'd probably accept :)

http://moviepilot.com/posts/3696485

 

Tokyo-Saint posted this 08 February 2016

Let's start a crowd funding for this Pap. I think it has legs. 

Bearsy posted this 08 February 2016 - Last edited 08 February 2016

Bro bangs his sister, and it messes him up so bad that he goes to live on remote island, where he can't accidentally bang relatives. Then, years later, a hot bird turns up. First bird he's seen in years. So he bangs her. But then, omg, it turns out she is his Daughter omg! Got to fuck with ur head.

pap posted this 08 February 2016

Originally posted by Bearsy

Bro bangs his sister, and it messes him up so bad that he goes to live on remote island, where he can't accidentally bang relatives. Then, years later, a hot bird turns up. First bird he's seen in years. So he bangs her. But then, omg, it turns out she is his Daughter omg! Got to fuck with ur head.

I've seen Empire, Bear.  I have a couple of pieces of news for you.

First, that was not "banging".

Second, you are probably a virgin.

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Bearsy posted this 08 February 2016

Pretty sure he banged her off screen pap. You can't expect them to actually show it, it is kids film not porno!

Tokyo-Saint posted this 08 February 2016

Yeah they can't show it Pap. They were lucky to get past the censors when they did that deeper meaning bit when Han grabbed her tit in 3 or 6 or whatever 

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pap posted this 08 February 2016

Originally posted by Bearsy

Pretty sure he banged her off screen pap. You can't expect them to actually show it, it is kids film not porno!

Look, you can be pretty sure that Han banged Leia because they have a kid together.

One cannot say the same of Luke.

Bearsy posted this 08 February 2016 - Last edited 08 February 2016

Why are you trying to take this from me, pap? He deffo banged her. You can tell someone banged her cos of how she was walking at the end, and it wasn't Hands Solo because he didn't bang her till the next movie, or the one after that, I forget which. Who do you think banged her, Chewbacca or someone? Be srs pap, she wouldn't be able to walk at all, if Chewbacca had banged her.

Also, Emo Darth Vader is prob Luke's son. That is why his face looks like it does. She prob only banged Hands when she found out she was pregnant so she could have Cover Story.

Edit: Added more evidences as above.

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Tokyo-Saint posted this 08 February 2016 - Last edited 08 February 2016

It's not the banging you have to worry about anyway. Foreplay with robo fingers is prob why she decided to go shag Han in the first place. Plus prob explains walking issue bear mentioned. One finger, one thumb one ... you get the idea, is no fun. When the fingerer has the hand from terminator, the fingeree will always have a few days of walking issues.  

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pap posted this 08 February 2016

Originally posted by Bearsy

Why are you trying to take this from me, pap? He deffo banged her. You can tell someone banged her cos of how she was walking at the end, and it wasn't Hands Solo because he didn't bang her till the next movie, or the one after that, I forget which. Who do you think banged her, Chewbacca or someone? Be srs pap, she wouldn't be able to walk at all, if Chewbacca had banged her.

Also, Emo Darth Vader is prob Luke's son. That is why his face looks like it does. She prob only banged Hands when she found out she was pregnant so she could have Cover Story.

Edit: Added more evidences as above.

 I dunno, Bear.   I get a bit of a we've just shagged vibe from them, but it is very ambiguous and you would think Luke would have stuck his hand on her bum if they'd just done the nasty.

BTripz posted this 08 February 2016

I had no idea that the Skywalker clan had its roots in Portsmouth!!

Bearsy posted this 08 February 2016

yeah it's rife with it BTripz. I also heard that Darth Vaders banged Luke's mum, and also, when he had her on Death Star, you can't tell me Darth Vaders didn't bang Leia, or at least fiddle with her a bit.

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pap posted this 08 February 2016 - Last edited 08 February 2016

Originally posted by Bearsy

yeah it's rife with it BTripz. I also heard that Darth Vaders banged Luke's mum, and also, when he had her on Death Star, you can't tell me Darth Vaders didn't bang Leia, or at least fiddle with her a bit.

I bet your experience of watching Star Wars is a bit like when an uber book nerd watches a film adaptation which has left loads of key background information out.

The only real difference is that the book fans are comparing it with actual printed material, whereas you're just measuring Star Wars up to the lurid fantasies your ursine mind has concocted.   It's a valid approach; bit unorthodox tho'.

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Tokyo-Saint posted this 08 February 2016

Bear has family in East Anglia, he speaks from experience. I trust bear's word on this. 

Bearsy posted this 08 February 2016 - Last edited 08 February 2016

When watching a film, you've got to keep an eye out for subtext, is all I'm saying. It's an anagram of butt sex for a reason.

(That ones for Beltch. Ur welcome.)

Bathsaint posted this 10 February 2016

Sussexsaint posted this 10 February 2016

That's amazingly well done.