Test Debacle

18 for fucking 6. I’m off to bed.

Good one for Vince to miss.

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All out for 58

NZ 42-1 in reply

What the fuck happened did they still think they were playing 20/20 game ?

How England's wickets fell

- 6-1 (4.2 overs) - Cook c Latham b Boult 5 - 6-2 (6.2 overs) - Root b Boult 0 - 16-3 (8.1 overs) - Malan c Watling b Boult 2 - 18-4 (9.4 overs) - Stoneman c Watling b Southee 11 - 18-5 (10.3 overs) - Stokes b Boult 0 - 18-6 (11.2 overs) - Bairstow c&b Southee 0 - 23-7 (13.0 overs) - Woakes b Boult 5 - 23-8 (13.4 overs) - Moeen b Southee 0 - 27-9 (15.4 overs) - Broad c Williamson b Southee 0 - 58 all out (20.4 overs) - Anderson c Nicholls b Boult

Too late

Was gonna warn you lot not to look.

On the bright side to cheer you up…

Granty from fiverweb flew for 18 hours to watch this in NZ :lou_lol:

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At least he never used any of my fivers to get there :lou_lol:

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Talk me through this.

Pink Ball cricket is supposed to be wonky to bat against during the “twilight zone”?

And yet NZ have doubled our score near as dammit for the loss of 2 wickets during this period…

And we batted (sorry swiped) while the Sun was shining.

All the pre-series Press Statements from Root and Co make the Saints media team in the MoPe era look accurate and informative.

:lou_facepalm_2:

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Jet lag…they’re jet lagged. Playing and missing in a different time zone. :lou_facepalm_2:

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I turned on the TV at 06:00 this morning and saw that NZ were 92-2, thought we were doing well.

Didn’t realise until MUCH later that we’d actually batted first.

5th team to be bowled out in the first session…

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Yay! It’ pissing down. Granty has retired to his hotel with NZ 177 ahead & 4 wickets down

3 more days of this will be perfect

Natives not happy

Posted at11:39

The result of the pitch inspection has just been announced. And that is, there is going to be ANOTHER pitch inspection at 08:00 GMT.

Terry Bigby: What a farce! We left the ground at 17.15 and it was obvious then that there’d be no meaningful play for rest of the night. Some heads need banging together.

If the weather keeps up we may come out of this with a draw :lou_lol:

Even a moral victory as we were able to sneak favourable British weather into New Zealand without them realising until it was too late. :lou_lol:

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Maybe we should delete the”Deb” from the thread title

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327 behind

Cook doesn’t move his feet

6-1

Go back to bed…

Batsman How Out Bowler Runs Mins Balls 4s 6s SR
Total (4.4 overs) 14-for1wickets
Cook c Watling b Boult 2 11 11 0 0 18.18
Stoneman not out 5 19 7 1 0 71.43
Root not out 7 7 10 1 0 70.00
Extras 0

NZ set up a trap. Bowl short at Stonemen.

He top edges a shaky pull for 6 to bring up his 50.

Next ball pulls it straight to long leg.

FFS what happened to batting TIME?

Why the hell is a Test Batsman playing that sort of risky shot in a situation where you have to occupy the crease. Just fvcking duck/dodge/weave you idiot

115-2

Just hope 5 NZ bowlers get caught ball tampering.

Root going well but I bet he gets a bouncer on the fingers a couple of balls before the end of the innings and gets out next ball.

That would just be our luck .

FFS

WICKET

c Watling b Boult 51

Outstanding from Trent Boult to Joe Root, still reeling from that blow on the fingers. A rip-snorterer from the left-arm paceman gets big on the England skipper and he gloves it behind. BJ Watling leaps to claim the catch.

Why did Root continue batting after that blow from Boult on in his fingers? He could have retired hurt and just returned in the morning. With two balls left and time up the umpires would have just taken the players.

That could be a huge blow to England’s hopes of saving the Test.

Stokes put in some effort but…