Stop teeing yourself up for gongs, Cobs.
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The calming bowl of soup award
At what point would anyone win this award?
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The Bowling Ball award for the poster whose wife has been fingered most often by other people causing said poster to seek vengeance through further posting.
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Most prolonged flounce.
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Bastard - another I cant win (my longest was only 4weeks)
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Don’t feel bad. There’s only one possible winner of this award. Sadly, he won’t be here to collect his prize (a life-size model of Jeremy Corbyn’s middle finger).
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The out of vogue award for Sartorial Elegance
The Merson award for services to the promotion of alcohol
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This should be a group award, with commendations for specialist threads.
Bletch is ineligible, for obvious reasons, but he could have a special award for dropping the most c-bombs on the site while drunk
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OK - so the yearly leaderboard has reset itself with no fanfare etc
The Soviet is failing…We should storm and occupy the VIP Champagne Room
But it’s in Derby and they dont have a tower how will we go there?
Sh’up. It’s all still there. There will be fanfare. Just need to get back to Southampton first.
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What a depressing way to start the year…just heard the “VIP Champagne Room” has been rebranded as “The Prosecco Lounge”
I have a bad feeling that the fixtures and fittings will appear on EBay very shortly. 
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Ahem…Pap?
8 hour days. In Stoke. He’s suffering enough.
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Imagine having to spend 8 hours each day in Stoke. Poor sod!
I’m sure it’s bad enough driving there knowing you have to spend 8 hours there, but it must be even worse driving home knowing you have to do it all over again tomorrow
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I have to be careful what I say about Stoke… 
Why? Do we have stoke spies here?