I hope you reported him to the police.
Now here’s the thing! He is chair of our Parish Council and we have recently carried out a survey together regarding the speed of cars driving through the village. He got quite upset because 83% of the cars recorded were going over 30 mph. I have to say that not one of them was doing 140mph!
what’s his name?
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This will probably have to be when trying to escape from Dubai at the start of the first Gulf War.
Was in the Red lion Pub playing for the Ramada darts team when they showed the tanks going across the Kuwait border on the TV.
Next day trying to get a flight out of Dubai to Europe was nigh on impossible eventually managed to book some seats on Air China to London via Zurich. Leave Dubai not a problem then approx 40 mins before landing in Zurich the plane nose dives and oxygen masks drop down. As you would guesss lots of screaming and shouting until everybody has a mask on then its wait and see time.
Out the right hand window all you could see were mountain ridges above the plane.
Out the left hand window all you could see wer mountain ridges above the plane.
What the fuck were we heading into.
Luckily we headed straight into Zurich airport and a holding lounge.
Eventually we found that one of the cargo doors had fallen off (dont think Eric had checked it properly prior to take off)
It was at this stage that I learnt if you complain loudly to airport staff in front of enough people they will transfer you to another flight 
Getting persistent pins and needles in your hand and discovering on googling symptoms that is could be angina, a stroke or AIDS. Five minutes later calming down when you discover it could also be alcohol abuse or a trapped nerve.
I didn’t realise until years later how stupid this was but I was bladdered on the Pride of Bilboa and decided to walk along the edge of the railings at the stern going through the Bay of Biscay, I shiver even now thinking about it, a Turkish Taxi Driver needs a mention being late for a flight.
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If you had fallen over the old man would have done a Williamson turn and then missed you by about 6 miles. as you hit the beach chewed and rotton in France he would have been docking in Spain claiming you were a sucide waiting to happen.
Too many to mention - mostly in forests when competing.
(not in dogging events)
And on a happy note…
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The old man would have got away with it
(Failing to ensure his passengers were protected)
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After a week of having a niggle that you were supposed to have done something, being presented with a card by the Ayatollah, which you open and are confronted with the words “happy aniversary”.
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Mainly work related which I won’t bore / terrify you with.
Sat on the back of a horse that bolted was pretty fucking scary as well. As I’m 6ft 3 they put me on a giraffe and we went for a little ‘trek’ something spooked the bastard and he went flying off. Absolutely convinced I was going to die.
I sharted in Walkabout once.
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Mmmm Jenny Agutter
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Got chased through St Mary’s, the area not the football ground, by a complete nutter, who wanted to kill anyone in the group I was in. I hid with one of the other ones from the group behind some wheelie bins for about half hour, then ran home!
This was back in the school days when there were groups that wanted to kill each other.
It involved Turkish fans in Turkey. They had knives. We didn’t.
Same trip, I had a half time kebab and did shit myself at the end of the game. Somehow managed to blag my way into the posh bogs in the officials area. Ended up washing my hands next to an unimpressed Lawrie Mac.
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what was he unimpressed by ? - the smell, the noise, cocksize?
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