The January 2018 Transfer window:- speculation, rumours, dummy spitting, it's all here

So let’s do to West Ham what they did to us with Fonte and get him here

What would Chicharito bring that we don’t already have? What we need is a massive target man - someone 8ft tall, 4ft wide, but with the pace of Mane… any of those asked to leave shitty London clubs recently?

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:lou_surprised:

Shit fallen angel, you’re just a shit fallen angel…

Anyway Gods can be evil too.

I hope Van Dijk goes to Man City! Go somewhere where you will win the league fella! But please go already!

I think you can pretty much discount anything that appears in the Mirror or Mail. Once the Telegraph start talking about it, lump your money on it.

As opposed to a January of transfer speculation of who we’re buying to help our cause we’ll be talking about wankers leaving, this is desperate.

That’s the dummy spitting covered then. Any speculation?

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Van Dijk gone, along with Bertrand, possibly Gabbiadini back to Serie A.

Sell all the wantaways and those that aren’t good enough: Forster, VVD, Bertrand, Redmond, Tadic, JWP, Austin, Long, Hojbjerg, Target, Taylor, Gardos.

Give all the money to Gao.

Play the rest of the season with McCarthy, Cedric, Hoedt, Yosh, McQueen, Lemina, Romeu, Davis, Sims, Boufal and Gabby.

Stay up on the last day of the season.

Sell everyone else.

Knock down St Marys and move to Silverlake Stadium.

Build houses, flats (Ocean Village 2, The Return) where St Marys was.

Give all the money to Gao.

Free fall to League One.

Be bought by a benificent billionnaire who may or may not be as rich as we think he/she is.

Repeat.

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I know we don’t normally sell key players in January (I don’t consider Fonte was still a key player last year after his dummy spits), but quite honestly, there are very few players that I would be bothered about if they left. Probably Lemina, Romeu are the key two. Other than that, if the price is right (and if we re-invest most ofthe cash) I really don’t care. I’d probably be slightly more upset if we got rid of some of the younger lads but all the mercenaries can just fuck off as far as I am concerned. I’m normally in the “glass overflowing” camp, but this feels like a relegation season to me. No-one is prepared to stand up and admit there are any real problems and until they do I can’t see anything changing.

I have no idea who we should bring in - a goalkeeper who can command his area, a midfielder who can create chances and a goalscorer (to be fair, I think both Gabbi and Austin could score goals if they were given decent chances) - and then for them not to have their creativity and flair knocked out of them by the coaching staff in short order.

I’ve no idea who the hell those players are (or whether we would pay the going rate for them, both in terms of transfer fees and salaries).

Got to wonder about Romeu this season smiler.

As much as anything it would be possible to point a finger of blame at him for not being as awesome as he was last year.

As someone else said somewhere, he seems to b e dragging a wheelie bin around with him at the moment. Just seems either much slower OR not thinking as fast as he did.

Or maybe he caught leadfoot from FF?

Anyway we need a target man. Crouchie wants more first team starts… :lou_eyes_to_sky:

Guan got noticed then

Gotta love an internet warrior who cant even be bothered to stump up his fiver each year.

Luke Shaw is ON THE MOVE…

Must be a new Nando’s opening somewhere.

Oh, relax, not to us - looks like he’s off on loan to Newcastle

He’ll turn up on Geordie Shore if he goes to Newcastle - probably munching a kebab whilst trying to finger one of the ‘lasses’ I’d imagine.

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Keep Virgil until the summer. Try and sell Gardos. Buy that elusive 20 goals a season striker. Have a remodel in the summer when prices arent inflated so much and there is more choice.

On the subject of “transfer masterminds”:

What’s the difference between Everton and the Titanic?

The Titanic showed up in Southampton before going down

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Hmmm. Who he?

Think we might have to sell a striker if so. Already have two on the bench most matches. The last time we had two actually start, Brexit wasn’t a word :lou_facepalm_2: