My Wife!!
What a sitcom that would make ! âThe Ayatollah and meâ filled with comic misunderstandings.
My OH has tunnel vision, like most men. How can he walk upstairs, empty handed, and not take up stuff sitting on the stairs waiting to be taken up? Stuff like his new shower gel, or his shoesâŚ
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Bet he would say, âmy wife leaving things on the stairs for me to trip overâ
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a) The bastards that park outside my double gates, meaning I have to occasionally do Austin Powers style turning in my own driveway so that ms pap can get off to work.
b) The cost of drop kerbs, which would end this problem for good.
Have a word with your neighbours or is it the gangbangers of noggsy parking up in their rides?
Back when my son was young I used to drop him off at the child minder who lived in the middle of an estate. I always used to park in front of the child minderâs car in front of another house who had a car parked on their front garden, no drop kerb!!
One day they came out to have a go at me about blocking them in (for the whole 1 minute I was dropping my son off) I explained to them that they had no drop kerb and there was nothing they could do about my parking. Cue a rant and threats to ram my car. My calmly an politely explaining that if they paid for drop kerbs it wouldnât happen!!
Outcome, they never parked on their front garden again!
Iâm building flat pack furniture today!
Two bedside cabinets arrived at dawn, the first one took 90 minutes.
I have eight spare dowels and quite a few screws left over, but only one bit was on the wrong way so I call that a result!
Just about to tackle the second one, I reckon I can do it in an hourâŚ
An hour I will never get back.
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To continue the theme of âcraphouse at workâ, settling in for a nice dump and then realising the last person didnât replace the toilet roll.
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You got lucky there. Outcome could have just easily have been car driven over your head.
Iâd like to think it was my calm and polite voice of reason, or could it have been they were 50 going on 60!!
I only choose battles that I can win 
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I thought you were married?
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Just nailed that second bit of furniture!
And when I say I nailed it, it was quicker than using those fiddly packs of screws.
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Originally posted by @Rallyboy
Just nailed that second bit of furniture!
And when I say I nailed it, it was quicker than using those fiddly packs of screws.
_ âSafe as houses, nipper!â_
Sleeping in the wet patch.
When shitness conspires to make things more shit. I was picking up ms pap from the train station the other day. Iâd arrived with about 5 minutes before her train was due in, and saw that short stay parking was free for 20 minutes. Happy days.
On arriving at the platform, her train is listed as being 3 minutes late. Disappointing, but still workable. Thirty seconds before the parking expires, the train finally rolls into the station, 12 minutes late. There is no time to get back to the car; I end up bunging ÂŁ2.60 into the meter because whether through conspiracy or chaos, people make money from crapness.
Having kept to the spirit of the agreement, I still wouldnât be surprised to receive a parking ticket because I bought my 40 minutes after the original 20 had elapsed.
Timid old fuckers driving at 35mph on a rural road with a 60mph limit. Iâm still a confident and quick driver at 65+ yearsâŚtimid drivers of any age are more of a danger on the roads. 
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There is a certain irony between your post and your user name
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They probably arenât just old.
I was in a pretty nasty car crash on a country road about 4 years ago. Friend was in hospital for several months because of his injuries, and is still having operations on his face/hip to repair stuff all this time on.
As a result, I am totally and utterly terrified of country roads and get no where near 60 on them.
Soz.
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