Timeout from Sunday chores

Monkey Tennis
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Thread for those embracing domestic challenges on multiple fronts and need a small haven to relax and banish the the evil thoughts that accompany such tasks… to mine include:

  1. Cleaning the ovens - A total cunt of a job :lou_angry:

  2. Cleaning kitchen floor :lou_sad:

  3. Trip to tip with loads of reclycing shit that you just know theywill stick in that ever growing fucking mountain of landfill :lou_facepalm_2:

  4. Wrapping Christmas presents :lou_smiley:

  5. Cooking dinner (Pan roasted pork tenderloin with a cider and mustard jus) :lou_smiley:

  6. Drinking some wine :lou_lol:

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I can only assume you are all too hungover to carry out approriate and much required labours as requested by those we chose to ‘partner’ our lives with so many years ago… let it be known, that I was not told to do these in some sort of ‘under thumbish’ way… oh no sir, I did volunteer as I am a new man and take my domestic responsibilities seriously and without complaint.

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Off to a party :lou_lol:

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I’m at work (I hate December financial year-end) - still got the chores to look forward to when I get in!

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I’ve just put Christmas lights up indoors and it was a right piss about.

They were all mixed up, there are several lots that link to each other but not this year they don’t, and then I couldn’t find the two pin adaptor.

I then tried to change a setting and the things died, mainly because I’d switched off the mains by accident.

And they look like they were put up by a retarded chimp.

Didn’t feel that festive afterwards - must put on my cheerful face when everyone comes round…

2 Likes
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Key to Christmas lights my offroad dirt track driving youthful friend, is correct repacking in Jan…it might seem that to place the lights and cable back onto the cardboard thingamyjig they came on when new is more difficult than performing brain surgery, when dyspraxic and blindfolded, but this is not true… give them to your youngest child to do and say ‘‘There are kids in a sweat shop in China doing that for about 3p and hour and they never even had any chrimbo presents. If they can, you can’’ Then threaten that Father Christmas may not come next year if the lights dont work… if no kids of your own, find some off the street (plenty will be out playing on new bikes for about 15mins until the Xbox calls them back)… entice them in with sweets.

When the police come (which they will) explain about the fucking lights and they will at lest understand as they go lock you up on Saville Row.

3 Likes
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Sounds like a plan…I’ll get a puppy in as well in case the kids are reluctant, what could go wrong!

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…thought I might at least get a vote up for the ‘Saville Row’ gag… :lou_sad:

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Too cerebral for me, Gay.

I preferred your ‘Twat in the Hat’.

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Savile.

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Originally posted by @Goatboy

Originally posted by @areloa-grandee

…thought I might at least get a vote up for the ‘Saville Row’ gag… :lou_sad:

Savile.

Pedant… :lou_is_a_flirt:

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Originally posted by @areloa-grandee

Originally posted by @Goatboy

Originally posted by @areloa-grandee

…thought I might at least get a vote up for the ‘Saville Row’ gag… :lou_sad:

Savile.

Pedant… :lou_is_a_flirt:

I knew Savile was a paedo; I had no idea he was a pedant as well. What a cunt.

1 Like
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Originally posted by @areloa-grandee

Thread for those embracing domestic challenges on multiple fronts and need a small haven to relax and banish the the evil thoughts that accompany such tasks… to mine include:

  1. Cleaning the ovens - A total cunt of a job :lou_angry: - outsourced

  2. Cleaning kitchen floor :lou_sad: - outsourced

  3. Trip to tip with loads of reclycing shit that you just know theywill stick in that ever growing fucking mountain of landfill :lou_facepalm_2: - stick it in general waste collection

  4. Wrapping Christmas presents :lou_smiley: - Ayatollah’s job

  5. Cooking dinner (Pan roasted pork tenderloin with a cider and mustard jus) :lou_smiley: - done this

  6. Drinking some wine :lou_lol: - doing this

See above

1 Like
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Done my usual sunday chores today:

  • recover from slight hangover / lack of sleep

  • eat food prepared by others

  • watch football on sky

  • keep up the alcohol free day right up to 8pm.

  • argue with others about choice of tv after opening beer above. Win argument.

Its a day of rest people.

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Originally posted by @areloa-grandee

Originally posted by @Goatboy

Originally posted by @areloa-grandee

…thought I might at least get a vote up for the ‘Saville Row’ gag… :lou_sad:

Savile.

Pedant… :lou_is_a_flirt:

I just wondered why the OB would be fitting me for a new waistcoat and detailing my ticket pocket.