Thread for those embracing domestic challenges on multiple fronts and need a small haven to relax and banish the the evil thoughts that accompany such tasks… to mine include:
Cleaning the ovens - A total cunt of a job
Cleaning kitchen floor
Trip to tip with loads of reclycing shit that you just know theywill stick in that ever growing fucking mountain of landfill
Wrapping Christmas presents
Cooking dinner (Pan roasted pork tenderloin with a cider and mustard jus)
I can only assume you are all too hungover to carry out approriate and much required labours as requested by those we chose to ‘partner’ our lives with so many years ago… let it be known, that I was not told to do these in some sort of ‘under thumbish’ way… oh no sir, I did volunteer as I am a new man and take my domestic responsibilities seriously and without complaint.
Key to Christmas lights my offroad dirt track driving youthful friend, is correct repacking in Jan…it might seem that to place the lights and cable back onto the cardboard thingamyjig they came on when new is more difficult than performing brain surgery, when dyspraxic and blindfolded, but this is not true… give them to your youngest child to do and say ‘‘There are kids in a sweat shop in China doing that for about 3p and hour and they never even had any chrimbo presents. If they can, you can’’ Then threaten that Father Christmas may not come next year if the lights dont work… if no kids of your own, find some off the street (plenty will be out playing on new bikes for about 15mins until the Xbox calls them back)… entice them in with sweets.
When the police come (which they will) explain about the fucking lights and they will at lest understand as they go lock you up on Saville Row.
Thread for those embracing domestic challenges on multiple fronts and need a small haven to relax and banish the the evil thoughts that accompany such tasks… to mine include:
Cleaning the ovens - A total cunt of a job - outsourced
Cleaning kitchen floor - outsourced
Trip to tip with loads of reclycing shit that you just know theywill stick in that ever growing fucking mountain of landfill - stick it in general waste collection
Wrapping Christmas presents - Ayatollah’s job
Cooking dinner (Pan roasted pork tenderloin with a cider and mustard jus) - done this