Optimus Trousers does a fine job but let’s be honest, there is a big steaming pile of shit on that thread too. Can we have a Distilled Trousers section containing only video content such as pre match interviews, highlights, official site releases etc? It’ll save traipsing through 500 pages of nonsense press links to find what I want.
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“like”
It seems appropriate to post this.
“Give it all you can, it’s much better than the pre-fabricated concrete coal bunker.”
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There’s a trouser press reference in here - promise. (probably one of my favourite comedy sketches of all time)
The people have spoken I’ll have a word with Optimus trousers and His papship and will take a look.
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OK Goatster, this is where you and I enact the sort of uneasy relationship that you’ve no doubt witnessed between papster and Shirty.
Here’s the backstory…
Shirty is a business analyst and pap hates business analysts.
papster is a coder and Shirty hates coders.
Shirty wants to persuade papster (me) to write some code for him.
In this dramatisation, I’m going to play papster and you’re going to play Shirty.
A business analyst’s role is to define _ precisely _ what is needed by the business (as well as to pay as little tax as they can possibly get away with)
A coder’s role is to take the piss out of the business analyst whilst portraying himself (falsely) as enigmatic and his art as impenetrably complex and inscrutable.
Scene 1, act 1 sees papster and Shirty discussing the requirements for “Son of Optimus trousers” (Son of Optimus trousers doesn’t have an attention span and literally can’t read actual words and stuff so needs to have his news captured in still- and moving-pictures. He also needs all of the words removed and stuff. Whatever.)
_ papster : Hi Shirty, you tax-dodging, private-education-supporting twat. What can I do for you?_
_ Shirty : Hi papster, you Hobbit-footed, free-market-denying communist. I’d like you to change Optimus trousers so that I don’t have to read any words. BTW do you know precisely how much less you earn that me? I know, but I just wanted to see if you knew too._
_ papster : OK Shirty, no problem. _That’s all I need to go on. I mean that’s a complete specification right there. Yes Sir! No doubt about it. The code has nearly written itself. If you gave me any more information about your requirements it would be redundant. That said, if you wouldn’t mind humouring me by TELLING ME EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT, that would be welcome. __ BTW, how does it feel to lay your head on a pillow each night knowing that whilst you sleep the sleep of the right-eous, the single mother from whose faux-Louis Vouton purse you rip rent each month will be lying awake wondering how long it will take Corbyn to overthrow capitalism?
Goatster, this is the part in the play where you respond as Shirty. Hint: It might help to look at a few pages of Optiums trousers’ current output and picking some examples of what you want in. i.e. All Vines? Vines from SFC? All YouTube Videos? YouTube videos from SFC? Posts including the words ‘bovidae’ and ‘intercourse’? etc.
Ta.
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Anything with a moving picture.
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Bit of a niche market, isn’t it?
You know SaintsFC have a YouTube site, Goats?
It’ll just make it easier to link things in appropriate threads. For example: there is a thread about Jose signing a new contract so I wanted to link a couple of interviews with Jose. I then had to trawl through pages of Mané to Man U and Vic to Spurs links to find them on OT.
This makes me want to smash my laptop over someone’s head. Which I am willing to do if preferred.
Anyway, I’m off for a run. Please have this actioned by the time I return. Probably in about 8 limping, gasping minutes.
Originally posted by @Goatboy
Anything with a moving picture.
You do realise that you’ve actually managed to make the specification shorter - less precise?
Should this make the cut?
How’d you like them moving pictures?
What flagged that up for OT? The stripes?
No, I think Alex Boring Cock tweeted it, so OT (erroneously) thought that you might be interested in it.
Originally posted by @saintbletch
No, I think Alex Boring Cock tweeted it, so OT (erroneously) thought that you might be interested in it.
Ok, if it’s not possible to filter out stuff like that, it would appear my only option is to purchase a high calibre sniper rifle and take out cunts like Crook.
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Originally posted by @Goatboy
Originally posted by @saintbletch
No, I think Alex Boring Cock tweeted it, so OT (erroneously) thought that you might be interested in it.
Ok, if it’s not possible to filter out stuff like that, it would appear my only option is to purchase a high calibre sniper rifle and take out cunts like Crook.
It would appear that this is your only option…
…or I could limit SoOT * to video, Vines, Instagrams or other images directly linked from Saints’ sources or tagged as sfc-related?
* Just where is Dune when you set up an open-goal like that?
Vaguely related, and probably not worthy of it’s own thread.
But, I had a thought yesterday. For the ‘other games’ thread, would it be possible to scale back trousers and update with a feed from a certain Twitter feed (BBC Sport/Sky Sports whatever) and update the thread with the latest goals?
I’m not sure how much work that would be, or whether it’s an adaptation of the current trouser code. Or whether the lag would make it not very useful, or too burdensome on the site. Obviously if it is a truckload of work, I’d say forget it. I know you (bletch) and pap already do a great deal of work on this site, which certainly doesn’t go under appreciated.
But hey, I’m a designer, throwing shit at coders with no understanding of the workload/feasibility is what I do 
That sounds reasonable.
Originally posted by @Goatboy
Originally posted by @saintbletch
Originally posted by @Goatboy
Originally posted by @saintbletch
No, I think Alex Boring Cock tweeted it, so OT (erroneously) thought that you might be interested in it.
Ok, if it’s not possible to filter out stuff like that, it would appear my only option is to purchase a high calibre sniper rifle and take out cunts like Crook.
It would appear that this is your only option…
…or I could limit SoOT * to video, Vines, Instagrams or other images directly linked from Saints’ sources or tagged as sfc-related?
* Just where is Dune when you set up an open-goal like that?
That sounds reasonable.
So once again the coder does the job of the business analyst.
I’ll take a look next time I open the bonnet.
All pretty trivial from a coding perspective, KRG.
The issue, as you’ve identified, is the lag.
I’ve looked at grabbing the BBC’s match feed commentary, but it’s so behind it would just be annoying.
What might work is if I could find a Twitter account or tag that exclusively tweets match updates in real-time during the match.
However, then I’d need to speak kindly to Uncle pap, as he would need to give me access to create posts in real-time. Currently, I chuck stuff in a well-known place and he checks for that stuff ever 5 minutes before creating content in sotonians.com.
If you can find such a Twitter account or tag, let me know.