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Yeah, c’mon pap, this is more shambolic than Bearsy’s efforts!
Guess its like when the big hollywood star does not show for the Oscars, having had the secret tip off about not winning.
I know I’m getting blamed here. Not all on me. I did send bletch a load of correspondence via Twitter DM on New Year’s Day with my final suggestions. Haven’t heard back from him yet.
Oh dear. Bletch…
To be fair, my hangover has only subsided this morning.
Yeah but you had two days solid celebrating. Did you have a good birthday?
Bletch can only read pcitures (at least thats what he says)
Yep. Quite a good turnout this year. It can be a challenge dragging everyone to the pub on new year’s day.
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Doh!
Hold on, a minute.
Whatever happened to the all-for-one, one-for-all mantra that Sotonians was formed on the back of?
It’s not even as if the tripartite attack-dogs of Gay, Bucks and Lou waterboarded you or anything.
You simply gave me up and blamed me!
I thought you were made of sterner stuff, papster.
Anyway, the legal defence follows…I’ve changed phones recently (dropped the Oneplus One and financial penury means I’m now rocking a second-hand HTC One M8), and I haven’t re-installed my Twitter app - so am not getting notifications of messages.
As a result, I hadn’t seen your messages asking who we should accept bribes from in exchange for our awards’ trinkets.
I can respond to it here though, if you like…
pap wrote (via Twitter)
Bletcherino (He calls me this. Ed.), I’ve been literally unindated (sic) by offers of cash, blow-jobs and access to teenage goats in exchange for awards.
I thought I’d list some below of the offers, so I can get your thoughts and then ignore what you say anyway (He does this a lot. Ed.)
Shirty Saint has offered free use of his daughter’s flat, and to provide me with off-road parking whilst in the vicinity of Shirty
Lou has offered to allow me to model for my very own penis emoticon - with a, and I quote, “happy ending”
Gay has offered to change his posting name to Lou Loves Corbyn
Bucks will let me use his mountain bike on Thursdays, and will try to be more socialist in future
Halo has offered to come to a matchday drinks session, naked and “oiled up”
Goatster has offered never to come to Liverpool again (via avidavit with solicitors involved and all)
The Flyd Owl (pap calls him this too. Ed.) has invited me to a threesome with SO5. with a, and I quote “happy ending”
Bear has offered to tell me the ending of the funniest Pelle joke in the world
Furball has offered to “punch my fucking lights out - you slag”
Roswell Saint has offered to show me the REAL alien autopsy tape
Toke’s a ****
So what do you reckon, Bletcherino? (He really does call me this. Ed.).
Who do you think we should go with?
So in response papster, I’d go with Lou*.
* advice or a statement? You decide.
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Oh god, Bletch! Considering I’ve previously compared Pap to my brother* that is just wrong!
*“as annoying as”
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Thank you bletch. Your input has been noted. Given that it bears no resemblance to any of my thinking on the matter, and we need to wrap these awards up sharpish, can I get your final thoughts on the big gongs, ta?
PS. I would LOVE to see a big ole Bletch v Pap bust up. Oh my god, that would be stratospheric. I don’t think it will ever happen, but if it did… it has way more entertainment potential than Pap v Furball.
Fuck you, pap.
That’s the best I can do, Lou.
I find it difficult to perform when I’m being watched.
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He’s too busy counting his wanks on some bloody app, Papster. I’d be livid if I were you!
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I simply assumed that the “happy ending” meant that his emoticon would be smiling.
You can’t fool me that easy Bletch. I know all about happy endings thanks to Phil_Dubai on The Muppet Show. 
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Five awards are done, including the top poster of 2015, top points per post poster of 2015.
Also did Prime Beef and Love That Dare Not speak its name.
Overall poster of the year is Goatboy. He was 2nd overall on the leaderboard, and high in points per post. I’m not giving myself that gong, and Goatboy’s win thoroughly deserved, imo.
Rallyboy is Point Sniper of 2015, getting the best points to post ratio of any user with 100 posts or more.
ant is Young Poster of the Year. Very close run thing. SuperMikey has a better points per post ratio (just) and KRG has been a super poster all year. In the end though, ant wins on overall level of effort and because he is a Machiavellian bastard forcing me to write this under duress.
Gave prime beef to myself and Furbs. He’ll probably never collect his 
Fowllyd and S05 4BW get the love that dare not speak its name.
More awards to follow, but they are finickity. We’re heading into more obscure territory soon.
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Can I put my frock on now?
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