Some details regarding the character of
@dubai_phil .
@dubai_phil Is an attractive and outgoing young lady who also happens to be the daughter of a former Russian oligarch. Her world was turned upside down following the unfortunate death of her father at the jaws of an alligator while completing a business deal on a florida golf course. His assets were subsequently seized by the Russian government and his family evicted from their lives of luxury. She escaped with her family to London but as a result of her ordeal she despises the game of golf more than anything in the world. Without a caring father figure in her life growing up she has self esteem issues and has taken many terrible partners. She is open minded and willing to take risks.
WE are now accepting submissions for the other two main characters…
@coxford_lou likes to fuck. He’s not fussy but draws the line at Gosport.
His whole life is an endless whirl of thrusts and vinegar faces.
But he has a secret. A secret that has been kept for decades. A secret that, should it be revealed, could have dire consequences, not only for his lovelife, but also for his career in the dog eat dog world of custom silk screen printing.
Richard can’t afford for his dark past to be revealed and he’s willing to do anything (except receive anal) to stop that happening.
not my place prob but would it be Better if it was ppl what are real ppl please? I.e. if it was Puel & Les Reed battling out to bang Big Kat, I think that would be More Erotic for Me.
Trump & Corbyn battling to bang Theresa May, if you want to make it more Broad
not me, I’m gonna be in the audience, Masturbating
If I had ever watched Have I Got News for You and knew what the fuck you were talking about then there might be more buy in from me…
I also haven’t actually seen Mock The Week, but I can still understand what’s going on here, you stupid @btripz
Since you’re feeling left out @btripz I’ve decided to give you a part. You can be @dubai_phil long term cuck boyfriend @btripz . Thanks for your cooperation!
A Big Kat Diary live if you will? If the Clive Anderson Will’s it, so it shall come to pass.
Could we have some more nominations from the greater Clive Anderson please. Actors, settings, character profiles etc with up votes according to taste for judging purposes?
My proposal for a setting is a Bulgarian ski resort.
Setting: The Runnymede Masonic Lodge. A sprawling mock Tudor nightmare with limited parking.
Tiger was looking over his new crazy golf course that Rupert had convinced the Chinese State construction to build.
He was perplexed.
So Rupert. Just what am I supposed to do with these Monkey Chickens?
Well obviously Tiger you’re supposed to pet them while Kat watches so the Bear can shoot all over Anastasia’s ample bosons.
Now, can you hurry up because Dubai Phil is bringing someone in to Sheikh my booty and there’s a hockey match on MOTD with Clive in it
@saintbletch a sports clothing tycoon and well known pervert. Partial to wearing ladies underwear beneath his tartan plus fours and fond of a frilled dress shirt in mauve. Tarquin is ruthless and cruel but his favours can be purchased for the price of half a cider. A useless drunk, he has been known to piss himself at the drop of a pastel fedora.
@goatboy a psittacosis-riddled defrocked vicar and pigeon fancier, much given to plunging his malformed member into the unwilling orifices of his long-sufffering flock. Apart from trips to the newsagent for a packet or two of ready rubbed, he rarely ventures out, prefering to watch endless reruns of Coronation Street with the mummified remains of his family.
But this night he feels something stirring in his innermost being, a visceral need to be elsewhere - no matter how far he must travel. He bids his pigeons a rather too fond farewell and, several hours later, ventures out into the night. Impelled onwards by an urge he cannot explain, he walks for many long nights, spending his days resting in woods, hoping to lay his hands on a finch or two. Eventually, he reaches his destination. He doesn’t know where he is, just that this is where he must be. He emerges from a thicket and reads the sign at the side of the road.
Runnymede.