I like to sleep with my victims.
Afterwards.
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When in Starbucks on the way to work (before losing the job) - where they have that pointless idea of asking your name when ordering - I gave them a different name each day to see if they noticed. Coffee nearly went cold one busy day, when the lady kept calling out “Ralph” to no response.
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Apparently it’s a marking trick. Get people to give you their name, they spell it wrong on purpose, people clog up social media feeds with their Starbucks cup with their incorrectly spelt name.
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I always start emails to companies, or an opening email to an info@ or enquires@ with Dear Sir/madam, always dear always sir/madam. I am not even sure if this is correct.
Pup until a few years ago, I always wrote addresses on a slope, on an envelope. This came from my dear mum and dad. My mother still does this, to this day!
So does my father-in-law and he Morris dances!
Oh, I’m not that weird!
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The weirdest thing I do, and my friends/family really do question my sanity on this one, is be sat at the kitchen table, on a bright sunny afternoon when everyone else is out and about enjoying the fresh air, watching Saints FC lose some shitty game, against some shitty team on a dodgy stream on my tiny laptop screen.
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I’m a bit OCD, I like things neat, tidy and orderly. When setting the air on temperature in the car it goes up in increments of half a degree, I can’t leave at x.5, it has to be a whole number.
If asked for my name in a coffee shop I call myself Mr X.
Really.
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Actually this is proper weird but it’s just normal for me…
I cannot listen to away games on the radio nor follow Twitter or Final Score, I have to wait for the final whistle before checking the score.
There have been too many occasions over twenty years when I have turned on the radio and we have conceded immediately, normally within a minute - it happened about three games on the trot when I first spotted it.
And if you think that makes no sense, it doesn’t - but it happened far too many times to be a fluke.
The worst was when we were at Fratton Park in 2005 and I was driving back from Devon.
We set off and my wife said, ‘are you not listening to it?’.
I said ‘no’ and she pointed out how ridiculous it was that Ithought I could influence a random sporting event just by tuning a radio.
She was right, I was being crazy - so I turned it on…
Within ten sconds we gave away a penalty and the game was lost, along with the season and the next four years.
So I hold her responsible for our relegation and decline, and to this day I cannot check the score, I have to wait for the final whistle if I am not in attendance.
This is not superstition, it’s basic facts that support a theory.
Weird?
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Mr D. Caff or Mr S. Presso.
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Originally posted by @Goatboy
Originally posted by @Rallyboy
If asked for my name in a coffee shop I call myself Mr X.
Really.
Mr D. Caff or Mr S. Presso.
Oh jeez …
Originally posted by @TedMaul
Originally posted by @Goatboy
Originally posted by @Rallyboy
If asked for my name in a coffee shop I call myself Mr X.
Really.
Mr D. Caff or Mr S. Presso.
Oh jeez …
Soz 
…Pap is my friend.
6 Likes
I still can’t post you tube on here, although that might be construed as Incompetant rather than weird.
Copy the youtube video address.
Paste it directly into this box.
Don’t try and use the link thingy just paste the address straight into here.
I’m IT incompetant mate no worries