Are you sure this wasn’t Rupert Lowe you were entertaining?
I know Bletch loves the whole yellow trousers, gundog and tweed jacket thing, but this bloke you describe sounds like a right country gent…
3 Likes
At least he didn’t walk out with the dayglo trilby he was besotted with in the pub 
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Bletch Touching Tool…quite reasonable at £32…
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Did you also notice the way her “bloke” imediately came to her side when you started talking to her? You’re MO is obviously well known in Soton
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Is the thread title “Take the piss out of Bletch’s sartorial elegance?”
No.
Thought not.
Fucking philistines.
Dear pap…
First of all, I’ll tell you what was a fashion disgrace. Me sitting down opposite you and having to look at your gaping fly, AGAIN - which you had ‘forgotten’ to do up, AGAIN.
What pap said
Sorry Bletch. They’re 501s with button flies
What pap meant
Look at my cock, Bletch. Look at my cock, Bletch. Look at my cock, Bletch. Look at my cock, Bletch.
Second of all, my white shirt had blue flowers on it. Not sperms. See below:
(Actual shirt, but not actual size, pap)
Why do you think it is, that after an afternoon on the beer with me, you have sperms swimming if front of your eyes?
Clear your glasses mush. And it’s your own fault for turning into a 5 pint princess. It’s the hair (from behind).
Dear Big Stupid Bob
I dress in that manner for 3 reasons.
-
That is how I roll
-
I’d heard that Richard Madeley (sans Judy) was going to be there (which he was) and I wanted to make a good impression
-
I am notoriously shit at drinking and notoriously obnoxious once drunk, so dressing like a dandy stops me being punched more than if I were dressed like you chavs.
Oh, and it was a pen.
Dear Goat.
Yes, that trilby did catch my eye and it really tied my look together. Gutted I didn’t wear it to the stadium.
Dear Cobber
It was not a blazer. I’m not a twat. Well, I am, but not that much of a twat. Well, I am, but it still wasn’t a blazer. It was a lovely silk and wool jacket - in blue. See three reasons above for ‘excuse/reason’.
Dear SO5
You are most welcome you Helm-et.
Dear Bucks
You can stick your season ticket up your…what’s that? You already do? Oh, well, then thanks but no thanks.
Dear The RaleighBoy
Fuck off.
6 Likes
Think we touched a nerve or 2 there chaps 
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Originally posted by @lifeintheslowlane
Bletch Touching Tool…quite reasonable at £32…
Is that all he charges?
Shirt?
Blouse.
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Oooooh Bletchy sorry. Blame the fella who set the tone of this thread. Though it can be exciting coming to a match of course
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Is the thread title “Take the piss out of Bletch’s sartorial elegance?”
Ummm…yep it is.
Boden shirt ffs
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Ah you see that is where the misunderstanding lies, we all know Balti Stench is a, how shall I put this mildly, exhibitionist.
Hence the Paisley shirt and dayglo trilby.
What he thought was said was “are you coming AT the match on Sunday?”, he was hoping that his usual post-South Western Arms shenanigans were going to be intra-match!!
I was trying to be offensive, bletch.
I should have realised that this was a double edged sword, that you would not have had the basic human decency to burn the shirt, thus tumbling upon my ruse to describe your top as patterned man muck.
Sperms would have been better, tho’.
Originally posted by @saintbletch
Dear pap…
Dear Big Stupid Bob
Dear Goat.
Dear Cobber
Dear SO5
Dear Bucks
Dear The RaleighBoy
.
So you give a verbal slapping to everyone apart from that Welsh twat Fowllyd? - whose badly-written paragraph of abuse got many more likes than my finely-crafted paragraphs of abuse, not that I’m jealous…
Fowllyd got upvoted for his honesty, you nearly got down-voted for massaging Balti’s, already overlarge, ego!!
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SO5 - you almost had a vote up there…but in true Sotonians style you fucked it up.
The sympathy card wont work here
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Harsh but fair Cobham
I’ll just stick to the abuse
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Yeah. Wanker.
Originally posted by @Fowllyd
Originally posted by @SO5-4BW
Harsh but fair Cobham
I’ll just stick to the abuse
Yeah. Wanker.
Poetry
No wonder the Welsh are renowned for their bardic qualities…
2 Likes
‘Quick as a flash - and witty too, mind - “Fuck off!” says Dai.’
1 Like
Originally posted by @saintbletch
Is the thread title “Take the piss out of Bletch’s sartorial elegance?”
No.
Thought not.
Fucking philistines.
Dear pap…
First of all, I’ll tell you what was a fashion disgrace. Me sitting down opposite you and having to look at your gaping fly, AGAIN - which you had ‘forgotten’ to do up, AGAIN.
What pap said
Sorry Bletch. They’re 501s with button flies
What pap meant
Look at my cock, Bletch. Look at my cock, Bletch. Look at my cock, Bletch. Look at my cock, Bletch.
Second of all, my white shirt had blue flowers on it. Not sperms. See below:
(Actual shirt, but not actual size, pap)
Why do you think it is, that after an afternoon on the beer with me, you have sperms swimming if front of your eyes?
Clear your glasses mush. And it’s your own fault for turning into a 5 pint princess. It’s the hair (from behind).
Dear Big Stupid Bob
I dress in that manner for 3 reasons.
That is how I roll
I’d heard that Richard Madeley (sans Judy) was going to be there (which he was) and I wanted to make a good impression
I am notoriously shit at drinking and notoriously obnoxious once drunk, so dressing like a dandy stops me being punched more than if I were dressed like you chavs.
Oh, and it was a pen.
Dear Goat.
Yes, that trilby did catch my eye and it really tied my look together. Gutted I didn’t wear it to the stadium.
Dear Cobber
It was not a blazer. I’m not a twat. Well, I am, but not that much of a twat. Well, I am, but it still wasn’t a blazer. It was a lovely silk and wool jacket - in blue. See three reasons above for ‘excuse/reason’.
Dear SO5
You are most welcome you Helm-et.
Dear Bucks
You can stick your season ticket up your…what’s that? You already do? Oh, well, then thanks but no thanks.
Dear The RaleighBoy
Fuck off.
Re Dear Pap bit. We all know it makes no difference if his flies were undone (a-bloody-gain) as there is very little to see.
Blimey you must have some cash for a Boden shirt. It’s quite nice. I’d wear something like that.
3 Likes