… however, Mrs Ferret was so chuffed when i gave up the smokes 3 years ago, she even suggested that if I gave up smoking i could spendwhat I did on fags on a healthy pursuit/sport each year… not sure she knew how expensive fag were as at £8.80 a pack and 6 packs a week… 
Don’t try to kid yourself
the Ayatollah and I had a conversation recently during which she said “why don’t you buy yourself another bike” - after recovering myself from the floor, I asked if she was serious. She said yes, and then asked what one might cost. I thought of the number , halved it and told her two grand.
Suffice to say, permission was withdrawn and now she says I have to justify why I need an expensive bike. Apparently asking her to justify why she needed another handbag was the wrong strategy.
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Apologies Sir!.. I did not intend to let my aging and hormonal imbalance derail from yours. But you see cars… well, so 1970s midlife crisis. I mean next your’ll be sporting a Burt Reynolds tash and opening that extra button on your shirt… 
Dont talk to me about the mrs’ s handbags
She has handbags that have handbags to go with them. I have a closet just full of designer and knock off bags that would look better in the shop she bought them from or so I tell her. At least 10% have never been used in anger outside of the room, She will deliberately go shopping with just her purse and half way through will say I just need to buy this bag to keep my purse in. AAargh.
And i get a rollicking for buying beer and ladies of easy leisure. Just not right I tell you.
OH MY FUCKING GOD - the height of bike porn!
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Tis but a simple ruse… when faced with the same question of ‘justification’ I went for a reverse psychology strategy…
''I can’t. … sadly i am too old to be competitive, and its not going to make me any faster having pro level equipment - and I would probably get laughed at when out with the club but hanging off the back… and to be honest, a fair bit of the desire comes from the exclusiveness and also the shear beauty of it. Now I know you dont get bikes etc, but its the same with your handbags/art/other - you know you dont NEED 20, but you appreciate their beauty and how they go with different outfits etc… and I can understand that for the same reasons… (Pause) and the thing is, well there is one advantage of a new bike… it motivates you more - some sort of psychology thing going on that I dont understand, but you want to ride it more, do more miles and hopefuly get fitter and slimmer and feel healthier… so no I can’t justify it, but can at least explain the desire… ‘’… walk away/change topic … hohum smile… revisit agin in a couople of weeks… repeat until you wear he down…
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Hmm. You have never met the Ayatollah.
It will be like trying to winkle Bin Laden out of his cave.
Nice enough, but if you want a Yank classic go for something a bit different - like this beautiful Studebaker
You only need to cross the channel and it’ll cost you a fair bit less. With the supercharged engine it’s not short of oomph and it looks like nothing else. Let’s face it, you see Mustangs around failry frequently. When did you last see one of these?
My midlife crisis is multi-faceted.
It involves saying ‘yes’ to every* new life experience I’m offered.
It involved me giving up working in IT marketing to work on a living wage in schools with kids that have social, emotional and behavioural challenges.
You may not know this, but it also involves me wearing flowery shirts - and not giving a shit what others think.
*Nearly every.
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I think I’m just entering one, so can’t comment fully at the moment. However, i did witness my Father’s midlife crisis, which involved the purchase of an XR3i, the further purchase of Carlos Fandango extra wide wheels for the XR3i (How Much Dad? Never you mind, that’s divorce material, Son!), the wearing of orange espadrilles and general grooming a-la Sonny Crockett from Miami Vice. It lasted about 5 years.
A very sad time, it has to be said.
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@numptyboi Did your old man play in the waterside pool league mid 80’s If so I would have played against him.
Would she notice if there was a new bike in the house?
If not don’t tell her she obviously hasn’t been checking bank statements closely!
If she does just tell her you’ve had one of your old ones resprayed.
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And drinking citrus flavour alcohol that joking calls itself a beer!!!
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I am already over:
DEFCON 1: A new frame is coming 
DEFCON 2 is when??!!!
DEFCON 3: Expenditure clash with major DIY project/new bathroom 
Its DEFCON 4 where things get serious… 
DEFCON 4: HOW MUCH??? YOU MUST BE F***ed in the F*****g head you fat F******g stupid USELESS C**T excuse for a man/husband… (filetered as Mrs Ferret does not normally swear and takes a dim view of my foulmouth…)
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When you suggest a big purchase to your partner and they say ‘do whatever you fucking want’, consider your next move very carefully as the speedboat/guitar/car/motorbike in question is likely to come up in future conversations when you least expect it - and not in a good way.
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I don’t think so, but then again i paid precious little attention to what the old bastard got up to back then. I know he used to frequent the Juniper Berry quite a lot, but that’s all he’d tell me. Sorry i can’t be of any more help.
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I did get to drive a 5.0 Mustang whilst having a mid life dalliance in the U S of A a few years back (its okay, Mrs SOG 1 was in the process of divorcing me at the time) but as much as it was fun, I ended up with a small and discreet tattoo on my right bicep instead. Mind you, the company Vauxhall Vectra never felt the same when I got back to Blighty though.
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I think I’m going to audition to sing in a band. They’re just a covers bands that does weddings.
I genuinely think this is the most midlife crisis thing you can do.
I also think they’re going to say “fuck off. you’re shit”.
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Lotus depends on what year, I say this as a mate had one and it was shite, shite inside and looked shite outside as well, if you want a midlife crisis proper get a motorbike, something vintage or something custom, it’ll cost you mind.
You could probably afford it bazza with all the money you’ve saved on Glastonbury tickets.
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