@themightyostrich and @goatboy nice tries but you are both wrong, sorry…
I remember getting Oi U’d when I was walk across that field to get into V Festival. It was Oi You! I knew he was shouting at me, but he was some distance away, and I decided to ignore on him. He was a Stranger, and I thought it would put me One Up. I’m obsessed with getting one-up, or one-down on strangers. I had an idea it was gonna be some kind of prank in any case, cos you get a lot of them sort of cunts at V Festival. He was probably stood there all day shouting at passers by, and when they stopped, he would just shout “Nice Tits!” or something facile like that, and it would put him One-Up. I didn’t want to give the bro satisfaction.
Oi You! He persisted. You! You, with the hair, he added, to make it more clear. I ignored him still. I was good way past him now. “You’ve dropped your wallet!” I instinctively stopped and padded my pocket. Wallet was still there. “Hahaha!” he said. “Hahahahaha!” Bastard. I was one-down. I still have nightmares about it.
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I’ve got loads of nicknames.
Penguin, on account of my waddling arse. It used to upset me when I was a nipper. I decided to own it as an adult, hence the twitter handle papingu.
Tinker, as in “Tinker Taylor”, bestowed by a former mentor who noticed my propensity to change things.
pap, self-applied, and yes, people really do call me this in real life.
PeeTee - initials, from about 2004-2007, in work.
“Mr T” - what my Northern Irish colleagues called me to my face.
“The wee bollix” - what my Northern Irish colleagues called me behind my back.
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…
Blackadder reference?
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Chapel Kate?
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Was ‘The wee bollix’ a character in Asterix?
Is it because they’d run out of Cs, Us and Ns?
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You abstain from posting for days and the first thing you post is an insult to me 
I feel honoured!!
Aye, short for Bob!!
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…OK, so they ran out of Ws As and Ns?
I have nothing to add to this…nothing.
Well spotted. 