Sotonians 2015 Awards

I prefer lamb or pork can I have one of these? Thank you.

a look in ‘the Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue’ which has just been re-published in full on the Gutenberg Project (excellent project that!) and this is what it says about beef…

“BEEF. To cry beef; to give the alarm. They have cried beef
on us. Cant.–To be in a man’s beef; to wound him with
a sword. To be in a woman’s beef; to have carnal
knowledge of her. Say you bought your beef of me, a jocular
request from a butcher to a fat man, implying that he
credits the butcher who serves him.”

So the implication (nothing stronger than that so far) is in the first definition…giving an alarm or raising an alarm. Some of the other defined uses are interesting but have no place on this friendly website!

Prior to 1811 it was well known that cockney criminals used to mock the cry of “Stop thief!” and try to sow confusion by yelling “Hot Beef!”.

That would confuse law-abiding pedestians and let their shifty colleagues make a clean getaway.

Whether this has anything at all to do with “having a beef” I have absolutely no idea. But it is vaguely connected to an alarming situation. But it feels to me like I am scraping around for links rather than identifying the true source of the phrase.

Love this one!

The Origins of “You Got Beef”
I have heard beef used in many contexts that pertain to altercation, but mostly in the following two forms. “You got beef with me?” and “I ain’t got no beef with you.” The first is meant to provoke an argument or fight, while the second is often used to prevent conflicting circumstances.

Using my super human powers of deduction, I have concocted two likely scenarios for the way these phrases came into existence.

  1. Cow Co-Op

In the old days, before rich Americans inhabited the earth and beef flowed from geysers, people were too poor to own cows by themselves. They had to put together their measly sums of money and purchase a cow together.

As we all know, the dual ownership of a cow can drive a wedge between people. Who gets to take the cow home today? Jim isn’t respecting our mutual rules for the cow’s bed time, and Herman thinks the cow should be allowed to watch rated R movies.

In this incarnation of, "You got beef with me?” the phrase is referring to physical, legal, and/or emotional ownership of the beef.

As parties began to argue over the best interests of the cow and slanderous accusations started to fly, one party was sure to mention that neither of them actually had the beef yet, with the phrase. “You got beef?”.

The co-ownership of the cow often became too stressful and the cow was usually slaughtered, but at times it lead to intense fighting. Some scholars believe a cow co-op is what started the Hatfield-McCoy feud.

These fights or “Cow Feuds” were usually solved via a duel, sword fight, or hardy argument. In the end the winner of said competition would have the first choice of beef, or if his competition did not survive he would own all beef.

If the person challenged could not stand up to said competition he would bow out with the phrase, “I have no beef with you”. Thereby, for-fitting first choice of beef to said opponent.

The phrase, “I have no beef with you", was also used to back out of a cow co-op in which the cow was sick or problematic and one of the parties tried to get out of his obligation to take care of the cow.

  1. The Beef Commodity

At some point in American history, beef became so rare and valuable that it was considered a commodity. Beef was traded and bought on markets like gold, sweet tender delicious gold. So, you had to have a quick turnaround time on your investment, lest your spoils spoil.

During this time of increasing value and beef prosperity, the less fortunate would go on beefing raids. They would break into butcher shops and people’s homes to steal all the beef they could carry.

When this phenomenon began, people would run after their beef screaming, “You got my beef”, eventually the word “my” was dropped to save time. After an epidemic of beef thievery (biefery?), calling someone out with “You Got Beef” became an extreme sign of disrespect.

On the contrary those that were falsely accused or faking innocence would answer, “I do not have beef with you". This eventually transferred into avoidance of conflict and backing out of fights.

It’s hard to say where the mysterious origins of “Having beef” began, but as it is an increasing part of our American vernacular, I feel it is my duty to half-heartedly guess.

Ha ha ha thanks saintbletch!

I don’t have beef with Pap! He just really fucking annoys me sometimes. But that’s a sign of respect from me! Pap actually annoys me more than my brother, sometimes, and that’s a highly acclaimed accolade. :lou_wink_2: Tokes on the other hand… :lou_wink_2:

More beefs: Fatso vs Bazza

Can we have categories for: Post with the most up votes

Most beautiful prose

noms: Bletch, Bearsy, Pap, Furball

Poster that makes you most consistently laugh out loud

noms: Bearsy, Furball, Goatboy, Bletch, Fatso

Poster with the most dry sense of humour

Goatboy, Fatso

Poster who has been most successful at hiding Saintsweb identity

Ludwig

Most popular thread (volume of posts, up votes)

Edit: added winks in case anyone thinks I’m serious + nominations.

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Category :- Post that was so worthwhile it was worth doing twice!!

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Ok, I’ve got 2 suggestions:

  1. We drop this idea of multiple awards: it’s silly and unnecessary.

  2. We create one award for Bah Humbug, for which I nominate myself.

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More categories:

Most outstanding efforts for Sotonians.

Noms: Pap, Bletch

Most loyal to the Papster

Noms: Bearsy, Tokyo, Bletch

Most missed posters:

noms: Trousers, Furball

Most likely to make the ladies swoon:

(anonymous voting).

I know I was speaking earlier about having separate threads for each award, but I’ve actually got a predictions engine nearly all the way developed for Sotonians. It’s basically a multi-poll system, which can add up correct answers and provide scores. I was planning on launching it just before the season started, but paying work got in the way. To do it nice, some fiddly UI work remains.

Of course, the big benefit of getting that complete is actually having a predictions engine afterwards. Will aim to have the voting up for next weekend.

Sorry mate, you have a big challenge for that from me, miserable cunt that I am.

You see, it’s strange, Bob, because I always imagine you as quite a cheerful sort of chap. :lou_lol:

Not that I imagine you that often, perhaps I better add.

I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea. :lou_is_a_flirt:

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Well, this thread looks like a prime location to post if you want upvotes.

‘Thread in which you’re most likely to get upvotes’.

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Oh and definitely need one for nicest poster!

BBB, Halo, Intiniki, Bucks, Ant

Most feisty poster

KRG, Pap, Ohio, Tokes, Cherts, Furbs

So laid back they are almost falling over poster

Goats, Halo, Ant, BBB, Intiniki

Always a bit nervous before you open their thread/links/images while sitting on the bus poster

Philippine, Ohio, Tokes, Goats

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See - these two are incapable of falling out! They’re too nice!

‘Looks most like a badger’ award.

‘Most likely to fritter away an inheritance’ award.

‘Are they really a Saints fan?!’ award.

‘Most likely to wear face paint, wig and a foam hand to a match’ award.

‘Highest total of unique beers drunk in the past calendar year’ award. *ahem*

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All looks a bit cliquey to me… :lou_is_a_flirt: :lou_wink:

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11 months of the year I am fine, this time of year I am all Bah Humbug. Someone in the office today wearing a Christmas jumper FFS

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Get with the spirit BT - sure fuck all the commercialization bollocks, I just dont let it interfere with what is important: a great excuse to get together with family and friends and share good and memorable times. Maybe especially important given the shit that is happening in the world… so go give the person wearing the chrimbo jumper a hug/buy pint and fuck all the miserable cunts.

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What do you want them to wear? An Easter Jumper?

Oh dear, I’ve started paraphrasing Pap :lou_sad:

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Originally posted by @areloa-grandee

Get with the spirit BT - sure fuck all the commercialization bollocks, I just dont let it interfere with what is important: a great excuse to get together with family and friends and share good and memorable times. Maybe especially important given the shit that is happening in the world… so go give the person wearing the chrimbo jumper a hug/buy pint and fuck all the miserable cunts.

Christmas starts the week before Christmas and ends on the 6th January, during that time I will “get into the spirit” until then fuck em all.

My brother-in-law’s girlfriend put their Christmas tree up on the 22nd November, 5 weeks before Christmas FFS