Dear Ron.
You tell pork pies.
Look it up.
Love,
Soggy.
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Dear Labour Party rebels,
It’s really not going as well as you’d hoped, is it?
We’re almost a week into the overt phase of your so-called coup. The only achievement of substance has been a demonstration of why you are profoundly unfit to continue in your roles as Labour Members of Parliament. You have publicly violated the values of the Labour Party, subjecting Jeremy Corbyn to dog’s abuse, in order to overturn his huge democratic mandate and return control to the centrist wing of the Party.
The implementation has been sloppy. This week’s events have been slapdash enough, but really, it has been painfully transparent from the start. Corbyn supporters were expecting you to make a better fist of it in all honesty
It started “well” enough.
Hillary Benn “unfairly” sacked. A tearful, spontaneous and principled exit from Angela Eagle. Resignations happening both in sympathy with sacked ministers, or in anger at the sheer “arrogance” of the leadership. The speeches were varying in their levels of criticism, but the message was the same. Corbyn must go.
It’s rather unravelled in the week since, if not before. The events of a two week old Telegraph article are playing out almost like clockwork, Angela Eagle seems to have had the foresight to have set up angela4leader.org a day before Benn was sacked.
There is no leadership challenge. Plan A, to humiliate Corbyn into quitting through an orchestrated blitz of Parliamentary Labour Party resignations has failed. Jeremy didn’t quit when you begged him, didn’t quit when you berated him and doesn’t seem shiftable without a leadership contest, something you’re presumably unwilling to do because it involves getting votes, something you claim Jeremy can’t do.
This should have happened sooner, right? You thought you were nailed on for a coup after Labour did poorly in the Oldham West by-election. UKIP were expected to win. It would be the end of Corbyn’s Labour, except Labour won the seat with a percentage swing.
The next big opportunity were the local and mayoral elections. A week before the poll, the Party was plunged into a media shitstorm. The Labour Party, of all parties, had to investigate itself for anti-semitism and racism, John Mann behaving like a thug harassing a man in his 70s in the street. This was the next end of Corbyn’s Labour. Predicted to lose hundreds of seats, Labour’s losses were in the low double figures in a zero sum game, with vote share actually increasing in our important marginals. Labour didn’t get Scotland back after your disastrous exploits in the Indy ref, but won all mayoral contests, including London. No coup then.
This week, the mask has truly slipped. The scale and the breadth of your conspiracy has been laid bare. The website for your unity candidate was set up ahead of time. We now know that Hillary Benn forced the confrontation and forced the sacking.
We saw a series of deeply cynical staged resignations, timed and staggered to keep the political knives coming in, people resigning from select committees citing they wouldn’t be back until the party changed leader. We heard the reports of Monday’s disgraceful Parliamentary Labour Party meeting, where one by one, you took it in turns to “break him as a man”.
As someone that joined the Labour Party to show solidarity with my political co-travellers and help develop a fairer and more just society, I am appalled to see so many paid representatives of the Labour and Co-operative Party being so unfair, unjust and uncooperative to a leader that is democratically elected, and a membership that voted for him on his policy platform.
What gives you the right to decide that you know better than the hundreds of thousands of people that voted for Jeremy in 2015? How much have you undermined him so far? Did you drag our Party through the inexplicable racist witch-hunt before the local and mayoral elections? Don’t bother answering - it’s rhetorical - we know you did.
It must smart, that despite all your shenanigans, this is the first time you could launch this chicken coup because the “unelectable” Jeremy Corbyn kept on winning elections. We won’t hear your mate Laura K say this, but Jeremy delivered the Labour vote in the EU referendum too. You’re just aiming to capitalise on the anxiety of deeply disappointed Remain voters.
I’ve seen reports that some are more rebellious than others, that some were bullied into making statements or resigning. If you are one of those MPs, speak up and say so now. Expose this sham for what it is. The last desperate throw of the dice of a wing of a Party, totally out of touch with the electorate or its membership, that lost Scotland and has had its ideas rejected in General Elections twice on the bounce. Speak up for Jeremy and all will be forgiven.
I don’t see how the rest of you get to go home. After acting in total contravention to the perceived values of the Labour Party, how do you go back to your CLPs and face your Corbyn-packed community centres? How do you do your surgeries? How can you even say that you even represent the Labour party when you’ve been collectively micturating on all we stand for over the course of the past year, in public this week? At a time when the public need a Labour opposition the most.
I just don’t see how it works. The coup is over. Your strategy of begging, bullying and humiliation has failed, and has done so openly. Resign your seats, stand as a different party and we’ll see if people buy into your ideas and values. If the ones we’ve seen this week are representative, please don’t call yourselves Labour.
To paraphrase the new friend you’ve made this week, Dodgy Dave:-
For heaven’s sake, ladies and gentlemen, go. Go.
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You could have added - p.s. Hilary Benn is a cunt!
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I tried to keep it as non-sweary as I could.
Dear the Conservative Party,
See the letter above, and thank your lucky stars that the opposition aren’t organised enough to overthrow Corbyn.
You’ve been given a stay of execution, so stop fucking things up because the next time a coup is attempted, it will probably succeed, and that will leave you with an actual opposition leader to be scared of.
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Dodgy Dave is scared of him.
Dear Calum,
How’s that move to Arsenal to better your career going?
Oh, and shave that twatish beard off.
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I’ve really been thinking about him a lot in recent days.
He was either very impatient or poorly advised.
It should, though, serve as a warning to other young Saints - should we ever again produce/nurture a crop like we have done in the past.
The grass might be greener, but if Hector Bellerin is already eating the grass much quicker than you can, you might as well eat grass in Southampton as go to London and starve.
Probably.
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Uhmm…will be long forgotten by the time we get another crop like that… and even if only a short time… they will spout some bollockas about ‘short career’ and need to earn £50k a week at 20… as they cant do anything else to earn a crust after 32… I just wish there was more honesty in football… that more just said they move as tehy are greedy bastards, and more pundits called Rooney a cunt
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Dear Katie Hopkins,
Just stop it.
You stupid twat.
Many thanks.
SOG
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has Katie Hopkins been flashing you her boobs again?
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