Of course he does. Integration dontcha know!
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…and for you little girl…a sequined burka.
Fanks Santa. 
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Just seen someone I know say they’re heading to the cola truck on 29th November in Bournemouth. Every year I dispear at people thinking this is what Christmas is. I suppose rampant consumerism is and I need to just get with it.
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I will be at home this Christmas the 3rd in about 10 years
I will have to cook christmas dinner
I will have to buy presents
I willl have to wrap said presents.
I will end up drunk
I will annoy the wife
I will phone relatives at inappropriate times
Said relatives will get annoyed with me.
How was your Christmas?
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Anyone who is excited by the arrival of a lorry delivering fizzy slurry to their town really needs to have a good hard look at themselves to establish where their life has gone wrong.
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Is it right that Harrods has a Christmas Dept open all year round for the tourists? Why on earth, if you were visting London from abroad (or anywhere for that matter) would you want to by some glass baubles for your tree? Those of you who know Rye will know that it is a quite, quaint little town devoid of most branded shops (apart from Boots). Tucked away in the bottom of the town is a 52 week a year Christmas shop - I kid ye not.
Tchibo in our outlet Mall sold out of their Xmas stock left overs 3 weeks ago…
Get yourself down to the Chinese Mall they will have everything you need apart from crackers those you need to get in Spinneys’
I love Christmas me, the more of it the better, liberals no doubt would want to ban it to have some form of hessian sack and stick dance off on January the 15th or something…
I love Christmas too - my favourite time for it is the end of the year - not in fucking September.
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I like Christmas!
I hate the build up to Christmas, the pressure to spend money, the pressure to buy presents for people you haven’t see since last Christmas.
The grief from the missus because we haven’t brought all of the Christmas presents for everyone by the end of October.
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I like Christmas because I can start drinking at 11.00am and not feel like a bum.
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We alternate Christmas with the in laws and this year its our turn and the wife has said its a Dinner lunch as I was fully loaded by 1700 on the previous one at our house and the Dinner was delayed, I have to admit I was bladdered.
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The shit really hit the fan when I walked the dog just before the gravy was being poured and didn’t return for an hour…
“Dinner was delayed”.
Is that a euphemism for mine host, slumped in the armchair snoring with dribble running down his chin? As in,
‘Fuck me, i must have had a few last night, dinner was delayed’.
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You’ve been away too long. The “City” that is now Dragonmart 1 AND 2 has built a ew a solid reputation for reliability. They are close to offering a “Guaranteed not to stock what you are looking for” warranty.
Sure you can get a nice flashing sign for your bar any day of the week or hello kitty gear but go there looking for something specific? Not a chance.
Luckily I have already found what I need for Xmas free beer and Ribs. Sod the traffic at International City
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They were probably hoping that you wouldn’t return at all Barry! 
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Corrected it for you Baz. The truth will out, as they say…
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Mother in law in Tahiti. Goat parents at sister goats.
Christmas at home with mrs g. Kid g and a very expensive bottle of rum.
Bliss.
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