Blimey, that was like as if I was in the other place!
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Anyway, why the fuck would I come on here to meltdown when I can drive to the beach in 4 minutes & meltdown for real in 41C & 85% humidity surrounded by 20 something chick’s wearing Thongs while Mrs D_P is at work on a Saturday?
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Weasels, wolverines and honey badgers… are like the uncles and aunts that no one mentions at family functions. Either they are in prison for having been involved in nefarious romantice entanglments with the local domesticated farm animals, or they were frequently turning up at family functions smelling of beer and piss and speaking in tongues…
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Errrrm, because we’ll just FB Mrs D_P and tell her what you are really up to?
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I have to say, it took it out of me.
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So while everything is turning to shit Wreck It Ralph is bailing out and going on a hockey jolly. What is it with hockey and this club? Have we learned nothing from having a hockey loving executive in the past? Sack Wreck It Ralph. Sack Reed. Sack the frog. Get Koeman back and all of the players who bailed out over the last few years. Spend money. Spend more money. Bring in Gallagher. If he is good enough to shag the Club Historians daughter he is good enough to lead the line for the Saints. We should never have sold Cork. His Dad was right all along. Kat clearly wants to sell out the the highest Asian bidder. Her father would be tunring in his grave. Bring back Cortese. He was the only one with any vision. We are doomed. Doomed I tell you. Where do I send my fiver?
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Let no one say Papsweb is anything other than an education. This post prompted me to google ‘mustelid’ to find out what the fuck the welsh fella was on about. (‘cunt’ I knew already)
I now feel enlightened and I’m chomping at the bit for the opportunity to use my new word in everyday life
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It’s the intellectual elite on here Forest
Ah. Good point well made.
So, we have a hockey playing CEO and the England rugby coach at Staplewood.
What’s Michael Wilde doing these days?
Which Chardonnay should I drink?
There must be a Jermaine Wright out there with no contract to sign as cover.
Surely now the Dutch experiment failed we need a revolution?
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Still only 14th. Shambles, etc.
Originally posted by @pap
Still only 14th. Shambles, etc.
14th? I was expecting us to be 11th after this weekend but even those other shite teams put in a better preformance than our shower of shite who, quite frankly, can’t hit a barn door with a banjo. Watford beat Man Utd our players just rolled over and asked to have their tummies tickled when we played them, where’s the passion in the team, where’s the fight? Even our ex-capatain’s-wife-shagging manager is running a better team than us, why of why did we get rid of him, should of let Fonte go instead, what’s he ever done for us, turncoat Portuguese traitor who looks like he’s going to give a penalty away every time he gets on the pitch!!
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Who would we replace him with though? The perma-injured Romanian collecting his mega wage when all he does is sit in the physio room pulling his pudding? The Japanese backpass legend? The non-existent ‘prospects’ in the illusory academy goldmine?
Season after turgid season we have failed to hang on to our world beaters. We train em up and sell em for peanuts. Fucking woeful. Liverpool are laughing at us.
And what do we replace with them? Fucking dross! Redmond for Mané? Do me a favour. The prick couldn’t win the half time relay.
See-Saws? Can’t cross. Weak as a day old lamb. Clyne would piss all over him.
Fucking black box?
Fucking dirt box.
Cunts.
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This thread will gently evolve into something so strange that you can no longer tell the sarcastic peddlars of spoofery, from the hardcore frothing-at-the-mouth bedwetters…
Keep it on a leash Pap, this beast could go native!
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Originally posted by @Rallyboy
This thread will gently evolve into something so strange that you can no longer tell the sarcastic peddlars of spoofery, from the hardcore frothing-at-the-mouth bedwetters…
Keep it on a leash Pap, this beast could go native!
Is this how SteveWeb started. I only joined in 2009 as they replaced one inept Dutch Maestro with another.
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Sarcastic peddlars of spoofery?!?!
We’ll have none of that around here thank you very much
Now fuck off back to your happy clappy thread and leave us to wallow in the abject misery & despair of knowing we’ve got a shit team and manager
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Shit team? Shit fucking team? Oh if only we were just shit, then we’d be at wets Pam’s level.
Oh no we make shit look desirable.
We are even worse than a 24 hour tube at 3:30am
We are a total parody of a mush legend. It is the same every summer.
We aren’t shit, we are the Soul Sellers
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Have we re-opened our Radio Station yet?
Is our catering world class now?
And our stewards aren’t even allowed to wear their own tabards - did you them in Europa League ones?
Embarrassing, we are UEFA’s little puppet, _cover up your hoardings, use paper tickets, ban drink, put this on, dance for us…_it makes me seethe.
I bet Man Utd didn’t do all that, we should stand up to these people - we look smalltime. 
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Billionaire’s play thing that’s what we’ve been reduced to whilst that shower of shit down the road break new ground in fan ownership. Not only are they the LARGEST and most PASSIONATE fan owned club in the world they have set the template for the future of WORLD FOOTBALL.
We can only look on in envy. 
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We’ve got problems that most clubs don’t have, and most fans aren’t even aware of.
Take Les Reed, for example. Carefully spun by the club’s press as a shrewd operator in the world of football, the club is keeping an uncomfortable secret away from the world’s media.
Les Reed is a mole. Before anyone decides to march him up to Court Leet for summary judgement, I must stress that he’s not that kind of mole. No secrets are being shipped to rival vessels, but occassionally, and for reasons unknown to anyone but Les (and perhaps not even him), he gets the uncontrollable urge to dig.
Part of the reason we’ve spent millions on those expansive training facilities is to give Les more room to dig. Divots and molehills go largely unnoticed there, but at St. Mary’s they’re on full time Mole Watch. A successful intervention will see Les shepherded into a securable room with a concrete floor. Les will simply scratch his fingers on the floor until the mole state passes. Sometimes that fails; he’s under the pitch within seconds.
The club have tried to address it by showing Les CCTV of him going into mole state, but that just provokes further mole incidents.
The affair continues in this state of tension, and like everything else on this thread, shows what a fucking disgrace of a club we’re lumbered with.
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