Alternative facts:
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An African goes into see the doctor with a frog on his head.
The doctor asks “What can I do for you?”
The frog pipes up
“Can you get this blackhead out of my arse”
Phil is pissed
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testing the boundary ain’t it? Jokes generally that start with “An African…” are prob on the No Fly list, but let us be fair and see, does this one make it past the Censor?
**“An African goes into see the doctor with a frog on this head.” **
This first line is fraught with ambiguity. “An African” is kind of vague. He could be i.e. South African. I weren’t sure initially who had the frog on his head either. Was it the Doctor, or the African? We’re not immediately sure. Having frog on head doesn’t seem grounds for visit doctor particularly, unless it is secured there by i.e. staples.
"The doctor asks "What can I do for you?"
I’d of prob started with, why have you got frog on ur head? but ok, I give this line a Pass.
"The frog pipes up"
Here is A Joke. Ur expecting African to answer, but lol no! It is The Frog! We are surprised, cos frog would prob visit Vet, rather than Doctor.
"Can you get this blackhead out of my arse?"
Hmm. This joke is that black head is same as blackhead, and that both things are things you wouldn’t want up ur arse. Not sure you get blackheads in arse tho, I think those pimples are more oily areas like i.e. nose. And even if i did have blackhead up arse, I dunno if I would know about it, would I? I don’t think blackhead up arse is a common complaint, or even uncomfortable particularly. Think this line needs Work.
Let’s try and re-work this joke for 21st century!
A frog goes to a vet, with Ryan Bertrand up his arse.
"What can I do for you?" says the vet.
"Can you get this frog off my head?" says Ryan Bertrand.
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Lets not. but how about.
A frog goes to the doctor with a blackhead up his arse.
Doctor say’s “what can I do for you”
The frog says " can you remove this blachead from my arse"
Doctor says " Sorry Mr Puel But Redmond has to stay up there other wise how is he going to get a game every week?"
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I’ve been sitting on this gif for weeks, cos I’m hoping that one day Lou and Intiniki will have An Argument, and then I will Post It. I will just park it here for meantime.
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It’s a little seasonal - you might need to wait a while…
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Barton Rovers FC @bartonroversfc 24h24 hours ago
Deadline day signing news, not to be out done by the ‘Big Boys’ we have spent £6.99 at Homebase on a new rake #NonLeague its how we roll.
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This sketch will never not make me laugh.
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The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.** Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, “I have a praise.
Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bike wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.”
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced. **
**“Phil was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil. **
**“Now,” she announced in a quivering voice, “thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”
All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. **
** A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “Hi, I’m Phil.” The entire congregation held its breath.**
”I just want to tell my wife, the word is sternum.”
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To celebrate my Birthday yesterday, I went to a dodgy bar in town and picked up two Thai Hookers.
My God … it was like winning the lottery … we had 6 Matching Balls 
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