Iāve got this mate who, when younger, told his mother that the white gloy-like mess she found every morning on his bedroom curtains was caused by his routine of getting out of bed, kneeling down and blowing his nose.
I have a mate who has just discovered his TV has a slow-motion replay. Iāve warned him itās a sorry path to poor eysight and infertility in years to come.
He seems not to hear me as he continues to re-cycle old movies that he recalls feature female nudityā¦I think itās already affected his hearing too.
I have a mate who has a dog that lies on its bed in the morning licking its own penis. No matter how hard he tries my mate has no success in training the dog to form a similar taste for other peopleās genitalia.
Iāve got a mate for whom the penny has only just dropped (after a year !!) that the whole Bearsy Burger King sketch is in reference to another notable āBearā Grylls
Iāve got this mate, involved in a āfriends with benefitsā type set up, where said friend has an unusually large benefit to the point that itās no longer beneficial. I tell no lies - she asked me my advice.
I knew a bloke who many years ago was having an affair with a local married woman.
Having seen that her husbandās car wasnāt there one morning, this scoundrel knew it was safe to go to the local phone box and give her a call.
What he didnāt know was that said husband had just been round to pick up his father-in-law and was about to go visiting a friendā¦who lives right next to the local phonebox.
SOā¦halfway through this call to the married woman he is greeted by the sight of both her husband and father, pulling up in a car, right outside the phonebox.
Petrified, he swiftly ended the call and stumbled out of the box to be greeted by them jokingly asking why he looked embarrassed and why he was using a phone just 300 yards from his home?..how they all laughed about the innocence of it!
This is where the real lesson starts, and it involves how many lies you have to tell before it becomes too complex to keep up.
So he mumbled through some desperate complicated story about how the home phone wasnāt working and he had to report it, which was bloody good having been caught on the spot.
But what he then had to do was go home, crawl around under a table and dismantle wiring on his own home phone just to support this whole sorry escapade when it was discussed later between the two couples when they next met.
My friend has had some scary moments, and that one is right up there - so he tells me.
Iāve got this mate that would spend Sundays getting his missus to drive him about. He would sit in the back seat of the car, smoking cigars and reading the Sunday newspapers.
A mate of mine has worked out how this site works. The site owners take an original idea like the Downvote Domina studio thread and they set up a copycat, but pervert it to their own ends. Just like Liverpool with Saints players or Coxford Lou and Syria. My friend for one will not be participating in this cheap knock off thread any further.