When you read the drivel posted on here by our twattish membership, do you ever cast people in roles from history, sporting teams, films or books?
No, just me?
Well just in case it isn’t just me, here are the two thread rules (I like thread rules).
If you suggest a scenario that you place Sotonians’ members within, you have to include yourself, and you have to explain your rationale - unless it’s obvious.
I’d just like to play in bletch’s Star Trek world for a bit.
I reckon Chutters could be a villain in this. A version of Khan Noonian Singh that had been stuck on a Sotonians thread (which I thought was safe) attracting nothing but downvotes for thirty years.
Bletch - Annie Walker - matriarch of the Rovers, serving gold old fashioned Best and Mild - to go with Betty’s hot pot - none of your hipster brewhound piss served to wankers with breads here
Tokes - Bet Lynch - Past his prime, but such a tease
Cherts - Betty - Grumpy hot pot maker
Bazza Sanchez - Albert Tatlock - Stuck iwith post war attitudes with a hint of 70s ‘concerns’ about foreigners and foreign goods fucking our glorious nation
Ant - ken Barlow - for using the term ‘sub-optimal’ in a post on a football forum… A term that marks your card as boring cunt in the office let alone when enjoying ‘social intercourse’ on web forum
Pap - Hilda Hogden - Curtain Twitcher
Fatso - Ena Sharples - Spits acid
the C Kid - mike Baldwin
Chutters - Rita Fairclough - getting on a bit, but still glam
Chutney Rib : Battery Sergeant Major Tudor Bryn “Shut Up” Williams. Shouts a lot, occasionally gets angry. Very occasionally gets very angry. Ultimately just wants everyone to work together and to get on and tries to achieve this by telling people to SHUT UP!
Bletch. Bearer Rangi Ram. Wears odd clothes, talks a lot, not much of which makes sense but occasionally comes out with a gem of transcendental wisdom. Dictatorially enforces a hierarchy that simultaneously gives him power at the same time as making him a serf. You Ruddy Fools.
Flyd Owl. Jonathan ‘La-dee-daa’ Gunner Graham. Is Hughniversity heducated,effeminate as fuck, plays football wearing glasses, plays an instrument which has earned him the moniker of the Camp Musician.
’Slowlane. Colonel Charles Arthur Digby St John Reynolds. The forum paterfamilias, well travelled, thinks that life is hard even though he’s got it easy because he does fuck all. Doesn’t live in the real world, has too many miles on the clock and drives a Beetle.
Bazza. Punkah Wallah Rumzan. Spends most of the day pulling people’s strings. Nobody can understand him for 99.2% of the time but once in a while he shares some real insight (Narcos).
SO5 : Gunner ‘Atlas’ Mackintosh. Big bloke who you’d like to have beside you in a ruck, but you know that most of the day he wears makeup and probably secretly wants to touch you intimately. Also drinks too much Jack Daniels.
Halo Stickman : Captain Jonathan Tarquin “Tippy” Ashwood. Don’t see enough of him, but when you do you could listen to him all day long…sounding idealistic and like he’s from a bygone era. You know that when he’s not On Camera he’s probably having tiffin.
Stevesintoponies and Cobber : Gunner ‘Nosher’ Evans and Gunner ‘Nobby’ Clark. Essential cast members, agitating for bigger roles but are still developing their schtick - find themselves typecast as Thick and Thicker (not sure which is which), but they will get their own back in series 3…
Lord Duckhunter : Bombardier “Solly” Solomons. The calm, voice of reason, eternally trapped in 70s sitcom world. Politically correct and the token “Jew” that pap keeps around so that people don’t accuse Sotonians of being antisemitic. Also wanted to exit after the first series so was demobbed into internally-focussed obscurity.
Mr Tambourine. Gunner ‘Parky’ Lovely Boy Nigel Parkin. pap’s favourite (Tory). Young, idealistic, ambitious but thick as shit and crap at everything (No offence), probably the lovechild of a liaison between the site owner and a famous female Tory prime minister.
Bristol Saint Ted Maul : Char Wallah Muhammad. Wanders around all day, usually singing (PJ Harvey) to himself until someone loses it and tells him to Shut Up!
Intiniki : Gunner Gloria Beaumont. Waltzes around the place pretending to be a woman who doesn’t like football, but we all know she’s secretly one of the boys.
papster. Gunner “Lofty” Harold Horace Herbert Willy Sugden. Um, can’t really think of any physical similarities but they both like whispering ‘grass’. Shhhhh.
I’m really not sure which is more worrying about that last post by Beltch.
The fact that he could come up with such detail of all the characters of that TV Show.
Or the fact that I remember them all now he’s reminded me.
PLEASE tell us that Netflix has the show on Re-run and you don’t remember all that from the 1980’s repeats…
The Bond Channel down here had given me the idea of a Bond list, but 1) I couldn’t compete with that and 2) everytine I tried to come up with a list frm Bond I ended up with Craigs List and that just brought up images of Bears