Never miss another flight
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So Mrs Vardy has commented that Peter Andre’s penis is like a chipolata and no one bats an eyelid. I wonder if there would have been a bigger reaction if Andre had said that Mrs Vardy had a vagina like the Albert Hall?
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I tought this was just a bit of a spoof story from the Daily Mash. Transpires Trump actually does use the name Pochahontas in a pejorative sense when talking about Native Americans.
And the presentation was performed in front of a portrait of President Andrew Jackson!! Also known as “Indian Killer” 
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Ha! what would have previously passed as a spoof is sadly Trump’s stock in trade.
An Engineer dies, and goes to Hell.
Dissatisfied with the level of comfort down there, he starts designing and building improvements.
After a while Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators.
The engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God rings down and asks Satan, “So, how’s it going down there?”
Satan says, “Hey things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”
God is horrified.
“What? You’ve got an engineer?
That’s a mistake - he should never have gone down there!
You know all engineers go to Heaven.
Send him back up here!”
Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff. I’m keeping him”.
God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue”.
.
.
.
.
.
“Yeah, right,” Satan laughs, “and where are you going to find a lawyer?”
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Lots of LOLs this morning over the Everton fans’ reaction to Fat Sam being their manager. Even more of a melt down over Sammy Lee also being in the famous dug out.
Another better than Rooney’s?
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You’ve probably all seen this already
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Powershell FTW, run this in a powershell IDE or shell
$AllProtocols = [System.Net.SecurityProtocolType]‘Ssl3,Tls,Tls11,Tls12’
[System.Net.ServicePointManager]::SecurityProtocol = $AllProtocols
$webReply = Invoke-WebRequest -Uri “https://catfact.ninja/fact” -UseBasicParsing
$catJson = $webReply.Content
$catObject = ConvertFrom-Json $catJson
#$wshell = New-Object -ComObject Wscript.Shell
Add-Type -AssemblyName System.speech
$speak = New-Object System.Speech.Synthesis.SpeechSynthesizer
$speak.Speak($catObject.fact)
#$wshell.Popup($catObject.facts,0,“Cats”,0x1)
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Anyone watching Pointless right now? I know it is cold but you would think that they had heating in the studio!
Not so pointless!
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I wasn’t but I am now you Horny Toad. 
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Come on SOG, you’re better than that!
What a brilliant twitter feed that is - Crap Local News.
I scrolled down a bit and saw that in Redhill, the “stink could be gone by next week”
No I’m not.
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That’s a relief… there’s no place for that kind here.
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