The problem with Jrod and shlong is that if you are going to ignore the obvious false 9 system and be a football Luddite, is you need one striker to be really big and good at headers and the other one to be small and good at finishing and getting on the end of flick ons and knock downs and to know when big guy will do a flick on and when he will do a knock on. Jrods + Shlong are neither big nor good at finishing or knowing about knock ons V flick ons. This is why we need false 9.
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Cheers bear
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Fuck you Bearsy, the only thing you know about football is what you hear from the kids when youāre hanging around their BK Birthday Party!!
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This is true, he does hang around kids parties going on about shlong.
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I just think itās fkn disgusting that bastards like BTripz are allowed to spout their hateful bile about Jrod + Shlong on here. It makes me fkn sick. Is this the kind of frm we want? I hope Jrod + Shlong both score hat-tricks this week and they lift their shirts and have FK U BTRIPZ written across their perfect abs.
TBH Bearsy, my Ursine DBS check failer, I hope they do too. One on Wednesday and one on Sunday would be nice.
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Dunno why we donāt try the Pelle approach again.
Nicolai JĆørgensen, presently top scorer in the Eredivisie.
Probably get a better return than Spurs have with Vincent Janssen.
I have it on very good authority* that Claude is having a series of top-level meetings with an external football consultant, who is acknowledged as being a leading expert on how to win more football matches**. I understand that this consultantās identity is a closely guarded secret but that the club are confident that no one will find out, as (a) this consultant insists that all his meetings take place well away from SMS or Staplewoord and he relies on TV and video links and (b) the consultant regularly talks total shit and slags off Claude to imply he knows zero about football.
So, friends, worry not, all will be resolved soon and we will no longer be struggling to win matches. You heard it here.
*a source in Liverhampton
**kick the ball in the net more often, apparently
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The other strikerā¦
Weāre all strikers. Weāre all defenders.
#4-4-2-dinosaur
I have it on good authority that no one bought anyone good ever in the Jan window. Least of all strikers. Least of all strikers who can take a defender on, leave him for dead and then finish emphatically. Certainly not for anything less than stupid money.
Seems like people are building straw men to then flagellate the club with.
Also - Sturridge. Get real - never gonna come to us. His head is too far up his own arse for a start.
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One last thingā¦please can no one mention Berahino?
Half a good season at West Brom. Been shit since with a bad attitude to boot.
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Iāve got a lot of sympathy for Bearahino, and not just cos heās got a Gr8 Name. Imagine being a footballer, and big clubs is trying to buy you for Ā£20m, and then you find out youāve got to stay at West Brom. With Tony Pulis. Thatās got to hurt srs. Plus he is best mates with Redman and Redman is always telling him how gr8 it is to be striker at Saints FC, ur not even expected to score goals or anything! Easy money. I remember when he was fkn lethal for England U21. I reckon Redman and JWP will remember this and put a word in for him with Les srs. I wouldnāt be surprised. He is a christian and often studies the bible with his mother. I got that last fact from Wikipedia.
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Read the full thing Beltch, I am not a 442 man, that is BBB, I am a false 9s modern footballer. I like my defenders to pass it to the keeper rather than defend and my keepers to be bad at keeping but good at doing passing around the back 4 who are actually a back 2 with the wing backs inverting to play CM and the CMs just going somewhere else - maybe even wing back position. I am a modern football manager B and have Lukaku and McCathy to prove it!
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Having done some thorough research (I had a quick look through the top scorers list) iāve decided on our target. Sandro Wagner. Heās quite Pelle-esque and just turned 29 so wonāt block the progression of Gallagher for too long.
Sorry for Daily Mail but relevant article
If we canāt get Sturridge, we should try for Carroll or Benteke for about Ā£35m, they look like fucking bargains.
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Heās no pelle in the looks dept. heās not for me.
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We need someone with pace through the middle. Do not think there is to much out there and so many teams are in the same boat.
Alassane PlĆ©a, maybe? Plays for Nice, used to be a winger, that now plays more through the middle(10 goals so far). 23 years old, 18 months left on contract. Ā£5-Ā£10m.
Sounds perfect.
Just like all of them.
Until you see them play.
Might be that bloke that shares his first name with Mane. Probably best not to mention him by name.
Fuck it, itās going to be SADIO BERAHINO TCK. Itās exactly the kind of deal we do 
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Berahinoās stats (appearances/goals - PL only):
13/14: 32/5
14/15: 38/14
15/16: 31/4
16/17: 4/0
And Iām pretty sure that includes a few penalties as well.
Funnily enough, for all the slagging off weāve given ourselves for selling players, Berahino has actually proven nothing more than what a mistake youāre making if you fail to cash in on an obviously overvalued player.
His contract will wind down, someone like Sunderland will still make an overbid of like Ā£12Mn for him one summer and a bad bit of business for all parties concerned will be concluded.