Now this has me wondering. When people go on dates do they run down a mental check list or do they just think, I really like/fancy this person? To me you can over analyze these things and it is all about chemistry. It is there or it isnt. When you start to make a check list it takes the whole romance out of the situation doesnt it? Perhaps we could start using Southampton’s black box for dating purposes? (ooer missus)
I would say for many people, the mental list is paramount. Here’s the thing though; people see what they want to see. How many of us have been in relationships where we’ve quite unjustifiably checked someone off our list not because it is true, but because we want it to be. Our brains do a number on us, ascribing qualities that don’t exist because hey. that’s what your brain says you need.
See also: “you don’t know him/her like I do”.
Not a mental check list, but I do usually print off my list and bring it with me on a date. And to make sure I’m fair to all candidates, if they haven’t covered one of the points, I will prompt the question.
I’m more than happy to be involved in a black box experiment. I think some Redslo data analytics could vastly improve my chances of finding the one. Let me know what information you need from me.
In my experience a person can do plenty of things to encourage another person to like, admire, respect them etc; however, when it comes to ‘that crazy little thing called love’ it’s more a question of ‘who a person is’ rather than ‘what a person does’.
Of course, this then leads on to the question as to whether or not ‘who a person is’ is determined by ‘what a person does’. 
I must admit my first ever love affair happened when I was about 6 years of age 
Stood on my orange box behind the goal at the Milton Road end.
Instant chemistry…continues to this day with the same loving passion.
COYS
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Although I dont have a mental check list other than do I like this person, I do have a list of things that are guaranteed to turn me right off on a date.
- Smoking 2. Swearing 3. Getting bladdered 4. Getting into arguements with those around her. 5 Checking out all of the other dudes.
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I won’t have to worry about you and Mrs Stickman getting it together then, SOG
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Originally posted by @Sadoldgit
Although I dont have a mental check list other than do I like this person, I do have a list of things that are guaranteed to turn me right off on a date.
- Smoking 2. Swearing 3. Getting bladdered 4. Getting into arguements with those around her. 5 Checking out all of the other dudes.
Dad…suggest you stop all these good habits on your next date
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Apart from no 1 the first Mrs SOG had all of the atributes I dont like…yet I still married her and had three kids with her. Go figure!
You wouldn’t be the first, nor the last, to find themselves in that situation, SOG - it’s a story as old as the hills.
Sadly.
Originally posted by @Sadoldgit
- Smoking 2. Swearing 3. Getting bladdered 4. Getting into arguements with those around her. 5 Checking out all of the other dudes.
Funny. I’ve definitely been on evenings out like that before. All of the above would suggest to me she’s got something about her that’s worth pursuing - not giving a shit is a pretty attractive trait.
Originally posted by @pap
Our brains do a number on us, ascribing qualities that don’t exist because hey. that’s what your brain says you need.
Yeah. I wasted 23 years of my life because of that stupid fucking reasoning. 
A number of years ago I nearly made the same mistake again after from splitting from Mrs SOG (1). I became friendly with a girl who patiently explained the phenonemon of what can only be described as beer googles without the beer. She said that men project what they expect of a woman and a relastionship onto someone that they fancy and dont see the real person. That certainly happened in my first marriage (all of my family told me after that they didnt like Mrs Sog (1) and I nearly repeated the mistake. Fortunately the nearly (2) Mrs SOG behaved so badly even I can see she was a crazy bitch! Things changed when the penny finally dropped and I stopped dating crazy bitches and finally met a decent woman. Mrs SOG and I celebrate our 10th anniversary (since first dating) on the same day as our 1st wedding anniversary on 16th August. So glad I grew out of the crazy bitch phase!