Does the Gos-man not float your boat Lou? I mean Christ, even I’d be tempted.
Maybe be this will sway you
It would still be Eastleigh.
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Originally posted by @Goatboy
Originally posted by @KRG
Does the Gos-man not float your boat Lou? I mean Christ, even I’d be tempted.
Maybe be this will sway you
It would still be Eastleigh.
Ha, maybe I misread. In fairness, I’ve never been to Eastleigh so I can’t make an informed decision.
Originally posted by @Goatboy
Originally posted by @KRG
Does the Gos-man not float your boat Lou? I mean Christ, even I’d be tempted.
Maybe be this will sway you
It would still be Eastleigh.
Exactly! Location beats choice of man 
Watching Dancing With Wolves on TV right now. Oh my god, I don’t think I’ve ever sat through such an utter pile of shit in my whole life. This thing won awards??!!
He is a man-angel. But I bet he’s boring.
He always struck me as a good lad to be honest
Originally posted by @Coxford_lou
Watching Dancing With Wolves on TV right now. Oh my god, I don’t think I’ve ever sat through such an utter pile of shit in my whole life. This thing won awards??!!
Tempted to vote you down for dissing a western on a Bank Holiday Monday. In answer to your question though - it was an apologist/feel better about ourselves Western hence the Oscars.
Originally posted by @saintbletch
It was excruciatingly embarrassing as we walked past them, so to break the silence I decided to say " **And a very good afternoon to you both, too". **
Brilliant
Ah, that makes sense. It was so badly acted. And so Hollywood! Ugh.
Originally posted by @Spudders
Originally posted by @saintbletch
It was excruciatingly embarrassing as we walked past them, so to break the silence I decided to say " **And a very good afternoon to you both, too". **
Was it you, Spudders?
Happy to say, you’re safe now if you want to go for another walk Beltch, I’ve been stalking this footpath for hours and not seen a fucking thing
Originally posted by @Coxford_lou
Originally posted by @Spudders
Originally posted by @saintbletch
It was excruciatingly embarrassing as we walked past them, so to break the silence I decided to say " **And a very good afternoon to you both, too". **
Was it you, Spudders?
Not me Lou, I’m not such a fan of sex in public either. My ex often wanted me to pull over in the car for some action. I’d then often spend ages drivng about finding somewhere I felt was suitable. She’d be saying “what about this layby” and I’d respond with “what if someone drives past” then after a few minutes we’d pass a lane and she’d say what about up there" and I’d respond “what if an owl is watching” and so on.
On one occasion we found somewhere that was ok, but realised pretty quickly that there’s no way two adults can have sex in my car, there’s just not room. So we got out, but it was a bit muddy outside and it was cold, so we decided to give up.
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That is unlikely to get past the filters at Reader’s Wives, Spudders, but I enjoyed it.
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Yeah it wasn’t like the stuff of films pap. Even the centre consol in my car made her wanting to pleasure me difficult. Car designers these days just don’t think about car sex when they’re designing their motors!
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Originally posted by @Spudders
Not me Lou, I’m not such a fan of sex in public either. My ex often wanted me to pull over in the car for some action. I’d then often spend ages drivng about finding somewhere I felt was suitable. She’d be saying “what about this layby” and I’d respond with “what if someone drives past” then after a few minutes we’d pass a lane and she’d say what about up there" and I’d respond “what if an owl is watching” and so on.
On one occasion we found somewhere that was ok, but realised pretty quickly that there’s no way two adults can have sex in my car, there’s just not room. So we got out, but it was a bit muddy outside and it was cold, so we decided to give up.
Oh dear!! That makes me feel very sad. 
I can see how you might have lost your mojo in a situation like that. I’m surprised about the space issue, though. I would have thought most people would have been able to find a way round that problem…But I suspect maybe your heart wasn’t in it at the point…
That said, I’m not a fan of cars and lay-bys either. A bit too ‘shagthesecretary’ for my liking.
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How about a badge for bad sex stories? Spudders deserves one for that - he had me in hysterics!
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Originally posted by @Coxford_lou
How about a badge for bad sex stories? Spudders deserves one for that - he had me in hysterics!
“What if an owl is watching?”
Not funny at all 
(harumph, stifles laughter, etc)
I’ll think about it, but the self-incrimination angle would worry me long-term.
For the benefit of us lads, could you perhaps chart public places from “classy” to “degenerate”?
I’ve never known, for example, whether a quick shufty round the back of a mobile kebab emporium is more or less classy than public lavatory cubicle coitus.
Well, this is completely personal. Don’t for a minute assume that I represent the opinions of the female population.
-
A corn field on a sunny day with a mild breeze in your hair, and the sound of birds chirping in the distance.
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At the base of a large oak tree with soft pine bed, and the sound of a deer scampering away
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Next to a large lily filled lake, with fresh trout splashing to the surface, and tall reeds all around you
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On a deserted beach with the waves splashing against your bodies
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In a motor way lay by inside a cramped car
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Next to a public path in Eastleigh Town Centre
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Round the back of some portaloos at a music festival
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Down a dark alley way after a night on the town
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At a bus stop with CCTV zooming in on you
Note. None of this message implies I have, or haven’t done any of the above
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Originally posted by @Coxford_lou
Oh dear!! That makes me feel very sad.
That said, I’m not a fan of cars and lay-bys either. A bit too ‘shagthesecretary’ for my liking.
I’ll have to show you the back of my car sometime Lou, you’ll see what I’m talking about then. Trust me, the mrs at the time was keen we tried various ways to make it work, we tried in the front and back, but it just wasn’t happening!
I’d already used logic and my eyes to assess the situation and I knew we were wasting valuable time. There’s only a certain amount of time I’m gonna humour her, before making an executive decision that it’s time to admit defeat!