Sex in public

Is that some kind of base 10 logarithmic scale you’ve got going on there, Lou? Some kind of Richter scale? If so, is boning in Eastleigh town centre really only 100 times worse than boning on a deserted beach?

I think it’s merely a case of wrong vehicle for the partner in question. I mean, if you’d had some tricked out shagging wagon, like you see in Pimp My Ride, I don’t think you’d have faced quite the same level of peril in the owl voyeurism stakes.

In fact, the only vehicles that lend themselves to owl scrutiny are convertables (top down) and the Popemobile. What were you driving?

Originally posted by @Spudders

I’ll have to show you the back of my car sometime Lou, you’ll see what I’m talking about then. Trust me, the mrs at the time was keen we tried various ways to make it work, we tried in the front and back, but it just wasn’t happening!

Papsweb calling Bearsy

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True that pap. If I had some sort of tricked out shagging wagon, I’d probably be the sort of person that’d be happy to be using it for shagging in! I don’t really wanna be shagging in any car to be honest, but when these opportunities arise, sometimes you just have to go with the flow (if you can’t make any more excuses!) however the car stopped play in the end anyway. It’s a Lotus Evora. One of those sports cars they call a 2+2 indicating it has seats in the back for two, when in reality they are only good for children, dwarves, people with no legs, or shopping!

I think it needs a more complex mathematic equation to resolve the dramatic drop off from point 4 to 5.

Originally posted by @Spudders

I’ll have to show you the back of my car sometime Lou, you’ll see what I’m talking about then.

Just name the date, Spudders… :wink:

Trust me, the mrs at the time was keen we tried various ways to make it work, we tried in the front and back, but it just wasn’t happening!

I’d already used logic and my eyes to assess the situation and I knew we were wasting valuable time. There’s only a certain amount of time I’m gonna humour her, before making an executive decision that it’s time to admit defeat!

But didn’t you just try sitting on each other? I mean, I’m no expert in such matters, but surely that would take no more space than it would to drive the car?

This is where the old sound proofed van comes in handy.

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Sorry to disappoint Lou but you are highly unlikely to find an oak tree shedding pine needles.

Originally posted by @Coxford_lou

But didn’t you just try sitting on each other? I mean, I’m no expert in such matters, but surely that would take no more space than it would to drive the car?

oooooooooooooooooooooooo get yoooooooooou and your fancy sexual positions! :slight_smile:

There’s definitely not enough room for two adults in the back, and the steering wheel would be in the way on the driver side, plus the sporty seats don’t leave much room either so she wouldn’t have been able to straddle me very well. I guess I could have got out, gone around the other side and sat in the passenger seat and she could have got back in and sat on top so I’d be behind her, but this just reinforces my opinion that it’s just not worth the kafuffle, when you have an empty house a few miles away. It’s all a moot point now anyway :frowning:

Originally posted by @Coxford_lou

Well, this is completely personal. Don’t for a minute assume that I represent the opinions of the female population.

  1. A corn field on a sunny day with a mild breeze in your hair, and the sound of birds chirping in the distance.

  2. At the base of a large oak tree with soft pine bed, and the sound of a deer scampering away

  3. Next to a large lily filled lake, with fresh trout splashing to the surface, and tall reeds all around you

  4. On a deserted beach with the waves splashing against your bodies

  5. In a motor way lay by inside a cramped car

  6. Next to a public path in Eastleigh Town Centre

  7. Round the back of some portaloos at a music festival

  8. Down a dark alley way after a night on the town

  9. At a bus stop with CCTV zooming in on you

Note. None of this message implies I have, or haven’t done any of the above :wink:

The standard has been set. We will take additions and amendments as necessary. We might get an answer on this one, people!

Originally posted by @Coxford_lou

  1. A corn field on a sunny day with a mild breeze in your hair, and the sound of birds chirping in the distance.

Do these birds have a line of sight, or are they unable to see what’s going on? This is worrying me! :slight_smile:

Originally posted by @Spudders

There’s definitely not enough room for two adults in the back, and the steering wheel would be in the way on the driver side, plus the sporty seats don’t leave much room either so she wouldn’t have been able to straddle me very well. I guess I could have got out, gone around the other side and sat in the passenger seat and she could have got back in and sat on top so I’d be behind her, but this just reinforces my opinion that it’s just not worth the kafuffle, when you have an empty house a few miles away. It’s all a moot point now anyway :frowning:

I thought boys bought sports cars just so they could get laid more often. If so, you’ve been had! :wink:

Either that, or you need to make sure your next wife is a bit smaller…

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Are you one of those boys that has to turn the lights off when you get undressed?! :frowning:

Get undressed? You get undressed??? : :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

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It’s a mystical oak tree standing proud in a forest of pine. Squirrels often jump amongst its branches and bunny rabbits burrow beneath its strong roots. Even though the forest is dense, the sun often finds its way through, making patterns in the shadows.

You tried this?

I can see why she’s your ex-, Spudders.

Bletch, you’re spending too much time in the company of Bear, that’s the sort of thing I’d have expected from him not you, -1 paputation point :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

this whole thread has knocked me off my game, spudders. What value + USP can I bring to papsweb, if beltch + pap + lou + everyone else starts posting all Sex-Mad? They’re infringing my Rights!

Read all the first post, then got tired/bit bored so sorry if they topic has changed.

My answers -

  1. saw someone boneing openly in the daytime on Brighton beach.

  2. dog tracked down gays in major gay cruising area (as mention in origional post)

  3. often see condoms in the woods while walking dogs

  4. make once boned someone in ikon toilets. She was fit as well - like Taylor Swift.

  5. Once got caught myself in disbaled toilet in a mizonocuchi station, didn’t know the station was closing and girl was highly embarred. I didn’t mind so much.

Didn’t know you were from Eastleigh Bletch. That’s near where I grew up. Where abouts?

To be fair, Spudders appears to be the very opposite of sex mad. He is our “play hard to get” poster.

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