The Sotonians Political Party Manifesto

If he was the one who shat in my woods for me to step in it the other day then he can whistle for my vote.

I might consider giving it to Tokes if he can offer 50p hand jobs to all that want them…

Shut up Brian.

What we’re not telling the right wingers is that we’ll be putting you up nice, like - sending you to a tropical island laden with nubile young hotties that love bad boys called Brian.

Indefinitely really means “for as long as the Brian wants to stay there”. I don’t think many will leave.

Also, please do not think I have anything specifically against Brian. Brian Island is going to be expensive. Chris Island would have devastated the finances.

We’re a budget conscious party.

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Brian is the Messiah

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Me and @dubai_phil

Should be forming our own Phil-Athropist party

You could have what we dont pay in tax’s if you vote for us.

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Yeah when we win we can expand the runway at Eastleigh so Emirates can fly direct.

We can give tax rises on craft beers beginning with P and subsidise Tsing Tao, San Miguel and all Lebanese Wines.

Ban Donner Kebab shops from selling anything except Shwarmas and ensure Houmous is served properly with Pine Nuts & Meat.

We can open a free trade zone around SMS so our players don’t have to pay tax and build substandard apartment blocks that only catch fire once a week.

We will replace all the shingle on Southsea beach & replace it with ultra fine sand so the shithole is subject to permanent sand storms AND a passpor checkpoint at Fareham.

Obviously our Free Zone will issue work visas for a fee AND stay in the EU

Gotta decide if we should replace Red Funnel with Long Tail boats.

Oh and employ Tiger to redesign Stoneham GC to Championship standard.

Anything I’ve missed?

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Free beers for Sotonians?

no duty on Wine

Gets my vote everytime

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And the capacity at St Mary’s tripled. Free season tickets and free chauffeured transport to pub, game, pub and home.

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Only for Fee Zone visa holders

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UK fans only.

Triple priced for overseas fans.

Restricted view seats only

:lou_sunglasses:

That will benefit ALL…especially those who had to live in the slum area of Bishopstoke…slum clearance on a grand scale to accomodate the lenghtened runway.

Gets my vote.

“Sotonian 100 badge” wearers only of course

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I was more thinking dig up that useless car park to the south of the runway

If extending to the south had you also considered recycling the bones from Stoneham Cemetary as garden fertiliser and lining the runway with the resultant beautiful Hampshire red roses.

Sounds like a plan. :lou_lol:

Redevelop the Ford plant as a Whit Van factory?

@dubai_phil I take it non residence get automatic Free Zone Visa residence?

Although I did notice you put an extra tax in the deal. Maybe they wont notice.

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Make foam hands compulsory for people called turkish

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… subsidised by the scrapping of OAP discounts :lou_wink_2:

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Don’t care about policies, providing i achieve my ambition of becoming Minister for Strip Clubs and General Nefarious Behaviour by Middle Aged Men.

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I’d just like to point out OAPs are not a bunch of work-shy freeloaders. They are people who have worked their asses off to make Britain the heaven on earth you see toda…oh. :lou_facepalm_2:

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